


Soul Seeks Soul

by freedomworm



Series: Going [2]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Ableism, Disability, Disabled Character, F/M, Gen, Homicide, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Misogyny, Physical Disability, Prostitution, Rare Pairings, Slurs, Swearing, like just a little bit but i guess it's still there, why am i even tagging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-09-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 13:59:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2070957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomworm/pseuds/freedomworm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a serial killer on the loose in Chicago and that's not even the worst of Julian's problems because who cares about serial murder when you're struggling to pay rent? And then there's that thing with Josh and -ugh, no. Julian is not going to get started on that thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from a Les Mis quote , because I have an unhealthy obsession with Enjolras/Grantaire and Victor Hugo is just... ah. 
> 
> "The supreme happiness of life consists in the conviction that one is loved; loved for one's  
> own sake—let us say rather, loved in spite of one's self; this conviction the blind man  
> possesses. To be served in distress is to be caressed. Does he lack anything? No. One does  
> not lose the sight when one has love. And what love! A love wholly constituted of virtue!  
> There is no blindness where there is certainty. Soul seeks soul, gropingly, and finds it."  
> \--Victor Hugo, 'M. Madeleine in Mourning', Les Miserables.
> 
> Timeline:  
> Events of this story take place two weeks after chapter five of "Going, Going, Gone"; It has been seventeen months since the events of chapter one in part one of the series. :)

The holiday season at Isis is a  _fucking bitch_ , Julian discovers.

Apparently rich snobs who frequent the club don't have families to rush back to, and Christmas time just makes them drink more and grope at the staff more. They get stingier with their tips, though, which is a goddamn mystery and Julian says so to Ali one day when it's noon and there's only one sad asshole in the room, watching the one stripper Ivan ordered onto the floor just for him.

Ali is a four-armed mutant who pretty much runs Isis from behind the bar when Ivan's not around, and she's tall and rather built and has more tattoos than Julian can count. She almost looks like she shouldn't fit in with the rest of Isis, but she's got dark hair that's always pulled into a high bun and she wears gold lipstick and somehow she's one of the most elegant people Julian has ever met.

"Maybe you should take Ivan up on his offer," she says, probably because she's been ordered to hint at it. She clearly doesn't care however, and lets Julian humor her by saying, as usual, "I'm not going to be one of the strippers,"

"You know patrons tip mutants more," she says calmly, wiping down the bar with one hand and flipping through a receipt book with another.

Julian often thinks that if there's a God, he must think he's pretty hilarious, putting them together like that –a girl with four hands and a boy with none.

"Yeah, and I'm not judging peoples' occupations, but I don't really want to swing around some pole and make my eyes glow green just so some middle-aged lady can get her freak on." Julian makes a face. Isis isn't a mutant bar –no, it's exclusively a bar for rich, non-mutants to gawk at the mutant staff. It's kind of creepy and Julian tries to ignore it most of the time because hey, he's getting paid to use his powers to serve people drinks. At least it means that he doesn't always have to walk across the room pretending to be carrying a platter he doesn't actually have hands to hold.

Ali shrugs because she really doesn't care. "By the way," she says, "You have Christmas Day off, and also the weekend after New Year's. Think you can handle being away for five days?"

Julian makes a face. "I'm here for the money and you know it,"

"Don't I ever," she says, "Look, kid, maybe you haven't been picking up on my hints the last couple of months, but you really need a  _life_  outside of work."

"No I don't," Julian protests.

"I'm making an executive decision here," Ali declares, "And saying you're taking the rest of the day off. Go find a hobby, Julian."

He gapes at her, "You can't…"

She pins him with a hard look and crosses her two free arms. "Try me."

Julian opens his mouth and then closes it and he supposes that's how he finds himself out on the streets that evening with nothing to do.

He's not going to go back to his hole-in-the-wall of an apartment where the heating is a fucking joke, but it's Chicago and it's December and he doesn't want to  _freeze_.

He tromps off to the nearest café, arms wrapped around himself in his hilariously thin coat and he orders the cheapest warm drink there is that isn't hot water, and sits down in a booth in the back. He sits there through two refills of coffee and then continues sitting there for as long as his glare can ward off the waitresses, which means he's out in the cold two and a half hours later.

He checks his watch and sees that it's stopped working, but he figures it's late enough that business will be picking up at Isis and he doesn't really want to go back to his apartment, which, frankly, smells like mold and has more than a couple roaches crawling around in the walls.

He heads into the bar beneath Isis that's called something like Clockwork for whatever reason and he takes two steps inside and sees white hair peeking out from under a hat and gold skin and Julian turns right around and goes back outside.

 _What is he_ doing  _here?_

Julian glances back, wondering if he hallucinated the whole thing.

It's cold outside and it's started to snow, and he wants to go back into the bar, even though it stinks, but what if it  _wasn't_  a hallucination and Josh was there? Christ, is he looking for him?

He immediately admonishes himself for the thought.  _Don't be stupid, Keller,_ he's _the one that left, remember_?

"Julian?"

He freezes right there, in the middle of the sidewalk, with snow coming down all around him.

The street lamps have turned on and he turns and can feel his stomach doing flips. God why is he so nervous? He tells himself he's shivering from the temperature outside, and it's mostly true.

Josh is standing just outside of the bar, far enough that he had to yell to get Julian's attention. He looks disheveled and he's wearing two faded looking sweaters and a hat and jeans and fuck, he's probably just as cold as Julian. There's a lamp light shining down right on top of him and it casts shadows across his skin and makes him shine at the same time. He looks like some sort of messiah, appearing to the people dressed kind of like a hobo.

"Fancy meeting you here," Julian says, as casual as he can manage.

Josh draws closer, staring at Julian like he's a ghost. He blinks and clears his throat and opens and closes his mouth. "I've… I've been looking for you." he says eventually.

His breath frosts in the air and his words hang there.

Julian's heart speeds up, God knows why.  _You were_? He wants to say. "Okay," he says instead. He doesn't remember it being so difficult to talk to Josh.

"Um, I felt your… cells here," Josh says.

Julian coughs. "My cells?" he repeats, wrinkling his nose.

Josh cringes, "Okay, so that sounded kind of creepy," he admits and oh God, there it is, and it's like nothing ever happened.

"'Kind of'," Julian scoffs. He fights back a grin. "So," he says, "came all the way to Chicago looking for me, huh? Is the world in danger or something? Here to recruit me?" He peers around in the dark, where he can really only see lights in the distance and snow flurries flying around on the wind.

"No," Josh says, "I took a bike here but… it's, uh, winter and all, so I sold it. It was Scott's."

"He's going to murder your if he ever finds out,"

"He's going to murder Logan," Josh corrects, "For letting me take it and ride without a helmet."

"You didn't wear a helmet?" Julian gasps mockingly, "You dare-devil,"

Josh grins and then he shivers.

"I live close by," Julian says after a moment, "I mean, if you don't have a place to stay?" He leaves it as a question and honestly, he should be saying something rude at this point about how Josh obviously doesn't want to board with him, but he doesn't want to ruin it just yet. Whatever 'it' is.

Josh just nods and they end up walking to Julian's place in mutual silence, all the way up to the fourth floor door.

Julian opens the door and motions Josh inside and Josh breaks the silence with "Holy shit, is this a closet or an apartment?"

Julian snorts. "Somewhere in between, I'm sure,"

"I liked the old place better," Josh says absently, taking a couple of steps forward and looking around as he takes off his hat. It leaves his white hair sticking up on one side. "But I guess I can't really complain. At least you know where the stains are from if it's your own place. Beats motel rooms, is what I'm trying to say…" he's rambling and yeah, that's new.

"The bed is in the wall," Julian says, "I can take the floor,"

Josh turns and raises his eyebrows, "Generous," he says, "But, ah, I'm used to the floor," His lips twitch a little and he looks around and says, "I hope you sold the mini fridge and didn't just leave it behind. Please don't tell me you've gone back to eating potato chips,"

Julian snorts, "Where I work? I'd probably get fired if I started putting on the wrong kind of weight,"

That makes Josh whirl around and he looks so fucking alarmed and –oh.

"I'm a waiter," Julian says quickly, "It's just, the uniform… and the patrons are super into… aesthetic." He clears his throat and walks by Josh to open the doors to the closet the cot comes out of, "So, how've you been? I mean, tired of the superhero business already?"

Josh looks guilty when Julian glances up. He makes a face when he sees Julian watching him, and he's still hovering near the door like he's ready to leave. "Yeah, I didn't really stay at Graymalkin that long," he says.

They've gotten to it and so Julian figures he's allowed to ask, "Why'd you leave?" and all he hopes is that he doesn't sound too butthurt about it.

Josh stares at the ceiling. "Uh,"

"I mean, a longer note would've been cool," Julian says, "Or you, know, you could've waited for a couple more hours? I get that all crashing with me got you was a bunch of trouble, and look, I'm sorry you got tangled up with the stuff I chose to do"

"-I followed you," Josh says, meeting Julian's gaze, "Remember? I signed up for it. It wasn't even that bad, okay, but I freaked out,"

"I could've helped," Julian finds himself saying. Is he shouting already? Shit. "I'm not a total asshole, okay, and I know how to deal with –with the bad stuff that happens to you."

"It's  _fine_ ," Josh says, sounding frustrated, "I'm over it, I swear, and I've been looking for you, okay, because I wish I didn't leave and by the time I realized that, you were gone, and all of your cellphones are prepaid disposables and I couldn't find a way to contact you."

Julian's thoughts shudder to a halt and his head spins. "You went back?" he says dumbly.

Josh bites his lower lip, like he wishes he hadn't said so much. They're standing on opposite sides of the apartment and the space feels like miles.

"You know I wondered why," Josh begins and clears his throat, "Uh, when I first arrived at Xavier's, we were friends, right? And then I guess we hated each other for a while, but eventually everyone kind of forgot the whole Reavers thing, and we still just… never became friends again. Why's that?"

Julian had forgotten about that and now he remembers because, oh yeah, they  _were_  friends for a couple of months back then. They'd both been righteous douchebags and with Santo and Cessily, they'd been quite the gang of freshmen jerks. "Shit," Julian laughs, feeling somewhat hysterical, "I dunno, we were teenagers."

"We're not…  _bad_  at being friends," Josh says.

"No, I guess not," Julian doesn't think about it too hard. "So is that what you came all across the country for? To ask if we could be friends?" He smirks.

"No," Josh says, "Honestly, I don't know why I came all the way across the damn country. I thought I'd know when I got here,"

"I'm sorry your epiphany didn't happen," Julian says, mock solemn.

There's a twitch at the corner of Josh's lips. "So d'you have anything to eat around here? I need proof you aren't living off junk food,"

Julian sits down on his bed, "D'you want to go back outside? I usually eat across from the bar –there's a diner there that's pretty cheap."

"Is it heated?" Josh says, perking up.

"Obviously,"

Which is how, at eight-thirty, they end up sitting in a booth across from each other at Jerry's Diner, which is actually one of the few diners Julian has come across that isn't trying to sell itself as one of Chicago's 'finest' and doesn't sell pizza.

"When'd you get here?" Julian says conversationally when their food arrives.

"Two weeks ago," Josh says mildly.

"Two…" Julian begins to repeat because Christ, they've been in the same city for two weeks? Then again, it's not like Julian really ventures out of the couple of blocks between work and home.

"It's not a big deal," Josh says, "I've been on the road for a couple of months. I'm nomadic now, I guess."

"Homeless," Julian says flatly, "The word you're looking for is homeless."

Josh makes a show of staring up at the ceiling, muttering something about semantics. "I'm not homeless," he says, "Where do you think my things are?"

"In a shopping cart somewhere," Julian shoots back, "Probably never to be seen again,"

"Ha-ha,"

They finish their late dinner with trivial conversations –the news, the weather, people in Chicago –and a refreshing amount of insults thrown at each other and when they get up to leave, Josh throws a twenty on the table before Julian can reach for his pocket and gives him a look that challenges him to even  _try_  to protest.

It's fucking cold when they go outside again, and Josh follows Julian back to his apartment.

He stops Julian in the doorway and cups the side of his face in one hand.

Julian has a split second to think that he was, for some reason, expecting Josh's touch to be cold and metallic, and not at all like flesh, before instinct catches up with him and he says, "What the hell?" as he jerks away.

Josh shrugs, unapologetic, "You had the beginning of the flu," he says, "And I  _know_  you haven't seen a doctor in over a year, so that would have been disastrous for you. You're welcome," he adds, and flicks on the light of the room.

It flickers on, casting the room in a yellowish light, before it flickers out again.

Julian snorts. "Figures," he mutters. And great, that means the heat's probably off, too, not that he could really afford to leave it on all night, anyway. "Floors too cold," he decides, "If you're staying, take the bed,"

"I can regulate my body temperature," Josh says, "And I don't work, so I can afford to freeze a little, anyway,"

"You can't regulate your body temperature when you're asleep," Julian points out, "Take the fucking bed, Foley,"

They glare at each other and Josh says, "What are you, five? We can share the goddamn bed,"

Julian opens his mouth for automatic protest, but Josh is shooting him an infuriatingly challenging look and he ends up just opening and closing his mouth furiously. "Fine," he says stiffly, "But if you hog the covers or kick, I'll murder you in your sleep, I swear to God,"  _Christ,_ he thinks when he turns away to the cramped bathroom, dazed,  _I'm so fucked_.

Because the power is out, Julian doesn't bother spending too much time in the bathroom; he washes his face and brushes his teeth in the dark, all the while still wearing his jacket.

When he returns to the main room, which, of course, is also the bedroom, Josh a lump on one side of the bed under Julian's threadbare blankets. "Bathroom's open," Julian says.

He gets no response and he leans over to check on Josh. His gold skin is visible in the dark, as is his hair, but he's totally out, and it can't be more than nine-thirty.

Julian hasn't gone to bed at nine-thirty since he was a kid, and even then, he got away with staying up later but his parents never checked and his nanny couldn't quite be bothered.

Julian sends his gauntlets to the ground and lifts the edge of the blankets telekinetically. The familiar green glow lights up the room and fades away when Julian is under the covers. It's uncomfortable to sleep with his jacket on, as well as the rest of his clothes, but it  _is_  cold and there's no heating. Still, Julian shrugs off the jacket and flings it onto the ground with his gauntlets.

It's not yet warm under the covers and they're somewhat of a tight fit. Julian's arm is pressed against Josh's back, and he can feel heat radiating off of him even through their clothes.

Julian closes his eyes and wills sleep to come.

* * *

Because Julian is used to working strange and at times ungodly hours, he wakes up at six and thinks  _fuck, I have a shift at the café this morning_ instead of something normal like  _urgh_.

The next thing he thinks is that he's been attacked by an octopus because when he tries to move to sit up, he's stopped by a dead weight on top of him.

"Well isn't this just the shittiest of all clichés," Julian mumbles.

He's startled, however, when there's a mumbled, "Shut up,"in response.

Josh is awake and he's –he's  _cuddling_  against Julian. "S'too early to be awake," Josh says, "An' stop smoking,"

Julian sputters and Josh tilts his head up to look blearily at him with those creepy white eyes. Of course, and this distance, Julian can see the faint outline of gray eyes.

"You're not genetically suited for long-term smoking. The likelihood of smoking-related complications arising in you is eight-seven percent. Your lungs hate you, but luckily I'm here and they love me," Josh says, then he puts his head dead and goes back to sleep.

Julian lies there, staring at the ceiling, and wonders what he ever did to deserve this. His face is freezing, even if the rest of his body, still under the blankets and pressed against Josh, is comfortably warm. "We need more fucking money," he decides.

Josh sighs and rolls away, taking the covers with him, much to Julian's hissed protest. "Go to work," he mumbles, "Or whatever you do,"

It takes all of Julian's willpower not to stick his tongue out, and it's only later, when Julian's rushing out the door, pulling his jacket on and stealing Josh's hat to make sure his sink-washed hair doesn't freeze –it's only then that he realizes how bizarre the morning exchange was.

It's seven o'clock on the dot when Julian arrives at the café for work, and he's grinning like a maniac.

* * *

Ali squints at Julian when he comes out onto the floor after stowing his things in the back room for the evening. "You don't look pissed," she says with suspicion.

He scowls, "Don't I?"

She shrugs, "Okay, so I guess I was wrong. You actually do have hobbies. Tell me what you did yesterday,"

"Nothing," he says flatly, picking up the gold tray she's placed a couple of shot glasses onto. "Where to?"

"Table five,"

Julian glances across the floor, which beginning to fill up with the usual, carefully bored looking patrons, and flies the tray over their heads to a booth in one of the corners of the room where seven people are seated at the half-circle seat.

He lets the tray hover above the table as the shots are taken with a cheer and then zooms the tray back to the bar.

Ali looks unimpressed. "You know, as lovely as your tricks are," she says, mixing a cocktail with two hands and taking out some wineglasses with another, "You do  _actually_  have to walk around and mingle with the patrons –customer service and all that. People want to see the smile behind the green, mysteriously floating drinks."

Julian continues to frown, but Ali's attention is drawn away as some of the patrons approach the bar to speak with her.

Sighing, Julian forces on a pleasant smile and makes his way across the floor.

* * *

When Julian exits the bar, there's some sort of police thing going on in the alleyway outside. By 'police thing', he means that one of the sad bums that hang around outside is dead, and not in the 'congestion of the brain', or 'froze to death' kind of way –from what Julian glimpses, it's a homicide investigation.

"Hey," one of the officers yells at him, "Get out of here, Christ, I thought we cleared the area,"

Julian puts his hands up, "I work in the building," he explains, moving around the police to exit the alley.

The red and blue flashing lights of the cruisers parked on the street light up the dark and hurt Julian's eyes.

"You usually exit out this way?" the cop who yelled at him asks.

"Yes," Julian says flatly, "If I got out front, I have to go around anyway. My apartment is that way," he points down the street.

"That back door, is it"

"Employee access only," Julian says, "It's locked from the outside and enters onto a stairwell whose doors need an access code,"

The officer nods impatiently like he knows this, "Do you normally see anyone around when you leave?"

Julian sighs and it frosts in the air. "No, Christ, it's two A.M. Look, I have a shift at eight

later today, so if I could get home…?"

"Right," the officer says, "Can I have your name and number to get in contact with you if necessary,"

"Name's Julian," he says, "And I don't have a number, sorry," he turns away and trudges toward his apartment and thankfully, no one follows. He'll probably ask around about the death later, but for the time being, he's got one focus only.

The apartment is dark when he gets in, and he nearly trips over a backpack on the ground that certainly isn't his on his way toward the bed.

 _Great_ , he thinks,  _he's already moved in_.

He drops his jacket and Josh's hat on the floor and kicks off his shoes. He hesitates a moment, but the lump that is Josh on the right side of the bed is clearly asleep, so he lifts the covers (noting that two more blankets appear to have been added to the bunch) and lies down to close his eyes.

There's a noise of protest at the shift in blankets and Julian whispers into the dark, "I'm tired and I had to get questioned over some dead guy outside of work, so shut up and let me sleep," and that seems to do the trick.

* * *

Julian wakes up with Josh curled around him and he tells himself that it's still pretty weird, but he really can't bring himself to complain about the warmth, and his face is  _still_ cold, what the hell.

It's seven-thirty and after a couple of gratuitous minutes lying awake in bed, Julian kicks the covers back and Josh wakes up with a stream of curses, namely, "Fuck!"

"Rise and shine, Foley," Julian says, pushing Josh away as he sits up, "I've got work, and if you don't have a job yet, you should get going and look for one,"

Josh is not a morning person, and Julian isn't either, but he's learned to get with the program for the sake of keeping his jobs, and so he's used to waking up early.

"Tomorrow's Christmas," Josh complains, "Don't you have, like, a break?"

"Not today," Julian says, making his way to the bathroom, "Get dressed and, I dunno, sit in the train station and ask for change or something."

He can pretty much feel Josh's eye roll from the other room and Julian brushes his teeth and considers ducking his head under the sink again. There's no heat, though, and he got a headache from the wet hair yesterday, so he supposes he'll just endure another day without a proper shower, and he heads back into the main room.

Josh is pulling his worn-out boots on, painfully slow, eyes half shut, and watching him, Julian thinks he might have fallen asleep again in the middle of lacing up his left shoe. But no, Josh sniffs and continues tying the shoe and then reaches for the other.

Julian's already put his jacket back on and he grabs his backpack, making sure he has the right uniforms for today's shifts, and announces, "I'm leaving now, okay? I'll be back around, like, nine. Don't wait up."

There's a disinterested noise of acknowledgment from Josh as he steps out into the hall, and Julian zips up his jacket to go.

It's later, watching the news at the diner he works at on Wednesdays that Julian sees the local report on the second body found in the area that fits the M.O of a new serial killing.

The victims are all strangled and mutilated, their hair bleached and their walls they're found sitting against brick walls with a golden halo painted above their heads.

Julian gets an uneasy feeling of déjà vu, but he tells himself he's being an idiot because homicides happen all the time and besides –these aren't mutants. He repeats this to himself as he turns away.  _Let the cops handle it_ , he tells himself, and tries to forget about it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Julian is forced to deal with strange customers and Josh is acting weird. Again.  
> What else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, sorry for a shorter than usual chapter! Hopefully next chapter will be longer. -_-'  
> As always, reviews are appreciated and actually strongly advised because I am a weak, weak writer and without reader speculations, the plot will become very uninspired.

There's a serial killer in Chicago and everybody's on edge by the end of the day.

Josh is still awake when Julian returns to the apartment in a bad mood because he actually spent most of the night at Isis 'mingling' and he got groped at least a dozen times for his effort.

The lights are on when Julian enters the room and it's warmer than it usually is because the heat is back on. It's on low, of course, and Josh is sitting on the bed with his back to Julian. "Did you eat yet?" he says without turning. He appears to be inspecting his hands.

"Yeah," Julian says, "Grabbed something to eat at the bar, why?"

Josh shrugs and stands. "Oh, by the way," he says, carefully casual, "Some cop came by earlier."

Julian stops in the middle of removing his coat and raises his eyebrows. "Oh yeah?"

"Some Detective Olsen," Josh said, "He wanted to see you and then started asked who  _I_ was,"

"Huh. What'd he ask about?"

"A murder from last night –or this morning," Josh says. "He said the victim wasn't a mutant."

"Yeah. I dunno who it was. It was outside of where I work," Julian shrugs. "So what did you tell him?"

"That I'm not Julian, no, I don't know when he'll be back, no, I didn't hear about the murder, and no, there really is no number to reach Julian at." Josh says. He thinks about it and then adds, "Thank you, good day, officer."

Julian feels a twitch of amusement. "Cool,"

"So there's a serial killer," Josh says casually, "Again."

"Don't worry, I don't have any plans on tracking this one down," Julian snorts, heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash up.

Josh follows him and stands in the doorway, "Yeah, but… I dunno, should you?"

"What?"

"It's a serial killer –even if they aren't mutant, we could help, couldn't we?"

Julian avoids answer by leaning down to wash his face, but when he's drying off with a hand towel, he says, "Dude, we're not exactly detectives, alright? I don't know if you forgot, but when we were X-Men, all we ever really did was fly over to where the threat was already established."

"So?"

Julian sighs and throws the towel at Josh's face. "It means we wouldn't be able to  _find_  the killer, dumbass. This isn't fucking X-Factor Investigations or whatever."

Catching the towel neatly, Josh scowls and throws it back. "Well this serial killer sounds like a creep," he says, "I'm just saying, it would be better if we could catch the guy. I mean, what the hell? Bleaching a guy's hair when he's dead? Not cool."

Julian snorts and bumps Josh's shoulder when he's passing by. "Well I guess they wouldn't have to worry about you for that, huh? You already do it yourself."

"I don't bleach my hair," Josh squawks indignantly, trailing after Julian into the main room.

"Look," Julian says, "All serial killers are creepy, but this guy? None of our business. The cops will find them. That's what they do."

Josh sighs. "But they've killed two people in two days and it's in  _this_  area,"

"What, are you scared?"

"Concerned."

Julian goes around the bed and sits down and is only a little startled when Josh sits down on the other side. He doesn't comment on it and says instead, "Whatever. What'd you do today?"

"Went out for a while, looked for work. How was work, honey?"

Julian rolls his eyes. "Unbearable, as usual. So?"

"What?"

"Did you find work?"

Josh looks away. "Uh, yeah," he says, "I can help pay rent. And who knows –maybe we can get a better place?"

"Yeah," Julian says and he absolutely does  _not_  stutter, nor did he get a tight feeling in his chest at the casual use of 'we' –as if they were in on something together… though he supposes that's not entirely untrue.

Josh is staring at him, so Julian clears his throat and switches the lights off from across the room.

He kicks off his shoes and pants while Josh is still making noises of surprise and protest, but when he shifts to slip under the covers, his legs knock against Josh's. "This gonna be a thing?" he wonders, sinking back on his exceptionally flat pillow. It hadn't escaped his notice that a second pillow had been added to the bed.

"I guess," Josh says, noncommittal even though his entire side is pressed up against Julian's. He doesn't seem very concerned by the touch, which seems unbearably hot to Julian.

Then again, Julian thinks, why would Josh have any reservations about touch? He was a hooker.

He shifts guiltily. God, that was a really douchey thought.

An arm slides over Julian's waist and he makes an embarrassingly strangled noise. "Are y-?"

Josh shushes him –he actually just  _shushes_ him –and he –he nuzzles against Julian, head resting against Julian's chest like he's listening for a heartbeat. "You smoked today," he murmurs, sounding disappointed. His voice is impossibly loud in the dark, even though he can't be speaking above normal tones. "I can tell."

"Just once," Julian mutters, shifting.

The arm around his waist doesn't budge.

"Uh, dude?" Julian says, voice a little high pitched. Of course this isn't his first time being  _cuddled_  by Josh, but the other times the blame could easily be put on overnight shenanigans and low, early-morning inhibitions.

"Oh, sorry," Josh says, not moving, "The bed's narrow. I don't wanna fall off,"

"That's such bullshit," Julian huffs.

Josh's breath is right in his ear. "Oh yeah? Then what's my reason?"

"D'you really want to go there?" Julian wonders, "Right now? Because seriously, we can go there, but it's, like, ten-thirty and tomorrow is Christmas and I'll have to deal with the unbearably cheery and the inexplicably bitter and I need to  _sleep_  before I can do that so let's just…  _not_  okay?"

"Fuck you," Josh mutters, but he still doesn't move.

They don't say anything and Julian falls asleep but not before he shifts to get his arm out from between their bodies. Without anywhere else to put his arm, he settles it around Josh in a way that is totally domestic except for the fact that they're not even fucking  _dating_.

In the morning Josh is still asleep when Julian tries to untangle himself and he ends up falling out of the bed for his efforts. That, of course, is when Josh chooses to wake up and he takes one look off the edge of the bed to Julian still lying on the floor with a shocked expression and proceeds to laugh his ass off.

Julian makes a face and heads off as quickly as possible with the hopes that he might be able to arrive at the café he has a morning shift before opening and wheedle a discount breakfast out of the café owner.

Miranda, the café owner and a former mutant, rolls her eyes at Julian's none too subtle attempts for half-priced coffee and muffins, but she's got a soft spot for him and he works on it until she allows him free coffee just before opening the café.

"My savior," he sings. He's barely had one gulp of the coffee when the shop door opens with a ring of a bell.

There aren't usually customers this early, and this guy doesn't look like he's from the neighborhood. His coat is a little too pristine and the part of his blond hair is precise. Not to mention, he's wearing a suit under his fucking  _peacoat_  and there's a clunky silver watch on his wrist that Julian supposes means he's filthy rich. He surveys the café when he steps in and seems to come to the silent conclusion that it's acceptable for his tastes.

Julian reminds himself to smile because even if Miranda is in the kitchen at the moment, she'd kill him if she found out he scared away a customer so early in the morning and then he'd never get free coffee again and that would be a travesty.

"Good morning, sir, what can I get for you?" Julian says pleasantly.

He sees the man's gaze drop to his arms, where his long sleeves have been pushed up to the elbow and the stumps that his forearms end at are painfully obvious. His gauntlets float by his side.

The man's eyes fly up to meet Julian's and he continues to look pleasant. "What can you recommend?"

Julian sighs and rattles off a list of beverages and foods that are moderately priced and frankly, taste more or less the same. He does this all while his attention shifts to the window over the man's shoulder. It's snowing again. Great.

"Any of that sound good?" Julian finishes, forcing his gaze back to the patron, who is frowning slightly.

"Ah, yes, what about that last one you named? I'll have that, I think,"

Julian shrugs, "That's four-seventeen." he says, reaching for a cup, "Cash or credit?"

A ten is handed over wordlessly and he rings up the change. "To go?" He says, already reaching for the Styrofoam cups.

"No," the man says. He smiles a little at Julian's surprised look, "I have time,"

"Okay, uh, have I seat, then," Julian says, "I'll bring out your latte when it's done, how about that?"

Blond Man nods and wanders off to pick one of the tables with the mismatched chairs to sit at while Julian turns to grab a mug from the back counter for the latte.

When he goes around the counter to deliver the drink, the man has removed his coat and has taken a tablet out; he clearly intends to stay a while.

"Thank you," Blond Man says. He glances at Julian's nametag, "Julian, is it?"

He nods wordlessly.

"I notice you're a mutant," Blond Man adds conversationally.

Julian smiles widely. "Is that going to be a problem, sir?"

Blond Man blanches at the response, but he shakes his head. "Ah, no," he says, regaining his composure, "I just…"

His eyes are on Julian's arms and it sort of stings, but he's used to the stares and it's been three years, dammit, he can handle this without crying and getting his damn feelings hurt. He works at  _Isis_  for Christ's sake, and even if this guy fits the profile for the patrons, he can't just for Christ's sake, and even if this guy fits the profile for the patrons, he can't just  _yell_  at a customer, even if they've already paid.

Julian sighs. "In case you were wondering, the handicap isn't part of my power. Parts of my arms didn't just fall off when I manifested."

Blond Man looks away.

"Will that be all, sir?"

He nods.

"I'll be behind the counter if you want anything else," Julian turns away and heads back to the safety of standing behind the register. His coffee from before has gone lukewarm, sadly, and Julian regards it gravely before swallowing it down and throwing out the cup.

The morning is slow, with the regulars coming and going, bringing in a gust of chilly air every time they open the door.

Two girls a little younger than Julian come in at one point and sit down with their hot chocolates and pastries. They spend most of their time ogling Blond Man, who is still there and busy with whatever he's doing on his tablet.

Halfway through the morning, when there's a lag in business, Julian drags himself out from around the counter to tell Blond Man, "You're going to have to order something else if you want to stay. It doesn't take two hours to drink a medium latte, sir."

Blond Man doesn't look up but holds out his mug. "Can I have a refill?"

"Sure, and would you like me to open up a tab for you?" Julian says sarcastically.

"Yes, thank you." The sarcasm flies right over Blond Man's head, leaving Julian gaping at him.

And then, because business is business, Julian opens a tab for him.

Just past noon, after Blond Man's fifth refill (honestly, Julian had been surprised to find him still in the café when he returned from his lunch break in the kitchen, but Miranda had given him back the place at the register and had said to play nice), the door opens and a kid comes in and—

"April?" Julian says in surprise.

The teen sighs. "Actually, it's August now. Figured I'd stick with the months, y'know?"

"Huh," Julian says, "Didn't know you lived around here,"

The boy shrugs, "Well, I don't. I'm visiting a friend, you know?"

"Do your parents know?"

"Maybe," August says vaguely.

"What can I get for you, then?" Julian says.

"Hot chocolate? Extra marshmallows?"

Julian snorts. "Sure. One seventy-five. Will that be all?"

August nods. "Thanks," he says.

"To go?"

"Yeah," He hovers around the counter while Julian prepares the drink, "So," he says, "You have to work during Christmas time? That sucks. It's Christmas Eve today, you know,"

"I'll be sure to leave some cookies out for Santa," Julian mutters.

"You look better, you know," August says. "Like, you're not a hobo anymore, I guess."

"Oh, please, don't stroke my ego," Julian says, "Next you're going to say I don't look like I only get paid minimum wage."

"Bitter much?"

"Every day," Julian puts a top on the cup of hot chocolate and slides it across the counter. "There you go," he says.

August grins, "Thanks. See you around, dude,"

Julian nods and watches him go fondly and checks the time to find he has an hour before he gets off work.

The bell over the door rings again and Julian looks up in time to see Blond Man leaving. He curses and starts to follow until he notices the two hundred bucks left on the table he was sitting at.

There's a sticky note next to the cash. "Keep the change," Julian reads aloud. "Merry Christmas…  _fuck_ ," he grins and quickly goes back to the register to check if the bills are counterfeit.

They're not, and he quickly tucks one of the bills into the compartment of his gauntlet he keeps his money in and deposits the other in the register to take out change for it.

It occurs to Julian, later, when he's heading out for lunch, that if no problems arise with his jobs, he's going to be able to pay January's rent without a problem. It's a pleasant thought.

Julian's job at Isis today isn't until six, which isn't for another four hours. Normally he spends this time at a café, nursing coffee after coffee Blond Man style, but some of the cafés and diners are closed for the day or closed at noon, and he isn't feeling particularly in the mood for stuffy cafés that smell like cinnamon and gingerbread and are decorated with tinsel.

Instead, Julian trudges back to the apartment and is more than a little surprised to find that Josh is still a lump on the bed.

"Dude," he says, " _Don't_  tell me you're still sleeping." He shrugs off his jacket and goes over to peer down at Josh. His eyes are open and for a moment Julian wonders if he's  _died_  or something, because how would he be able to  _tell_  if that happened?

He reaches down and is about to press two fingers to Josh's neck before he abruptly calms down and laughs at his own idiocy. Like he'd actually be able to  _feel_  a pulse, ha-ha.

"Blink if you can hear me," Julian says, kneeling by the bed so that he's eye to eye with Josh.

There's a blink and Josh sighs and  _turns away_.

"What the fuck, man?" Julian says, bewildered, "Have you been lying here all day? What about work?"

"Not today." Josh says shortly.

"Okay, well, uh," Julian straightens up. " _Have_  you been lying here all day?"

There was no answer, but Julian took the silence to be a guilty one. "When's the last time you ate?" he demands

"Yesterday,"

"When?"

"Morning," is the muffled response.

Julian feels an unnecessary twinge of irritation. "And here you've been lecturing me about  _my_  health... Get up, we're going out," He snaps, tugging on Josh's arm.

Josh allows himself to be dragged upright and stuffed into a jacket, but he follows along after Julian unenthusiastically, shuffling his boots against the ground as they go.

"Seriously, dude, what's your damage?" Julian says finally, when they're seated in a diner and he's watching Josh pick apart a perfectly decent hamburger.

Josh shrugs. "I'm fine," he says.

"No," Julian says, "You were fine yesterday and you were fine this morning. Now you're acting like, I dunno, someone killed your grandma." His eerie silence and blank stare suddenly reminds Julian of the weeks after Limbo, years ago. His eyes narrow. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Josh says, "I didn't go anywhere, remember?"

Julian knocks a gauntlet against the side of Josh's head, "In  _there_ , you idiot. Did you start having an existential crisis again?"

Josh doesn't even frown. "No,"

Julian takes out an almost empty pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket and holds an unlit cigarette between his gauntlet fingers. He waits and when there is no further response, he takes out his lighter and places it on the table.

Josh blinks and finally speaks: "You can't smoke in here." he reminds wearily.

"M'not smoking," Julian retorts.

Josh nods, "Guess not," he says, and goes back to eating his hamburger in really small bites.

"Do I have to  _call_  someone?" Julian wonders. "Because X told me to watch your dumb ass and even if that was a couple months ago, I'll fucking call her, I swear,"

"You're threatening me with your girlfriend?" Josh says, incredulous, which is better than nothing.

"She's not my girlfriend, and yes. I am." Julian decides, "I can call her with the phone at work and she'll drag you back to California, so what's  _wrong_ , Foley?"

Josh bites on his lower lip and sighs. "I shouldn't have come here, I'm just going to give you trouble. Christ, I hitchhiked across the entire country to find you because I dunno, I figured everything would make  _sense_  again, but I don't know if it does and"

"-Josh," Julian interrupts, "Calm down. Look, it's been two days –you just need to settle, okay? Chill. And I don't –I don't mind you… living with me, I guess." When he says it he knows it's true. Josh's presence isn't strange, he realizes. Josh doesn't ask a lot of questions but he still  _cares_  in his own way, and isn't that just weird?

"I'm sorry," Josh scrubs a hand over his face. "I've just been… in a weird mood today. It'll pass." He looks down at his unfinished meal glumly. "Just forget it," he mumbles.

Julian thinks about Josh that morning, laughing to the point of breathlessness and Josh the night before, oddly affectionate. His mind flies to those moments and he stares at Josh right now and feels like his heart has dropped into his stomach. "Do you like me?" he blurts out.

Josh's head snaps up. "What?"

"I… just… I was thinking about yesterday and…" Julian stumbles over his words, mind going utterly blank in the most unhelpful way. He ends up opening and closing his mouth mutely a couple of times. Finally he asks again, "Do you  _like_  me, Josh?" his voice is low and less accusatory than before.

Josh blinks and the surprise from before disappears from his face. "Yes," he says finally, "I like you like  _that_."

Julian feels like warmth creeping up his neck. "Um," he says in the face of Josh's careful composure. " _Why_?" It feels like an important question.

Josh doesn't look away. "I dunno. You're hot? Don't look at me like that," he adds, "You used to know it was true, too. And you're not a total dick. You treat me like I'm normal,"

Julian rolls his eyes. "You  _are_  normal,"

"Fine," Josh says, "Correction: you don't look at me like I'm whatever you're paying for  _or_  like you'll fucking break my mind if you ask me too many questions about my goddamn feelings,"

Julian ignores the first part and says, "I don't ask you about your feelings." he pauses; "Well, not usually, I guess."

Josh looks away this time. "I don't know why I have to justify this for you. Forget it. Just pretend we didn't talk about this, okay?" he stands, but it's not really angry –it's not really anything at all, he just stands and leaves.

"Josh," Julian calls after him. He stops to throw a bill down on the table before chasing him out the door, "Dude," he yells out. "The hell are you running for?" he catches up to Josh, who's only walking quickly and catches him by the wrist to tug him around.

He turns swiftly, like he'd been expecting this and he kisses Julian hard.

And Julian just stands there.

It's a closed-mouth kiss, and Josh pull away almost immediately, but his hands are still cupping Julian's face and he's eyes search Julian's expression.

Their breaths frost in the air between them and they're standing in the middle of the sidewalk and Julian feels absolutely nothing until the moment Josh begins to pull away. "No," he finds himself saying, "Kiss me again,"

Josh's eyes widen and he doesn't move so Julian leans in and  _God_ , he hasn't kissed anyone in so long, it's pathetic, really, how good it feels and he opens Josh's mouth with his own and he almost has to pull away to start laughing because it feels so fucking  _normal_  to do this.

Josh kisses back –briefly, and pulls away, wary. "Wait," he says, "Are you sure-?"

Julian rolls his eyes, "I don't know why I have to justify this for you," he says mockingly. One of his arms is wrapped around Josh's waist and he doesn't pull away. "But like you also said, you're hot. And you fucking  _found_  me –twice. Maybe it's like a Stockholm Syndrome thing for stalkers,"

Josh smiles a little and says suddenly, "I thought… you don't like guys,"

Julian makes a face, "Well I don't exactly gawk at everyone around me. And dude? I've been letting you sleep in my bed and cuddle with me, but aside from that, you don't exactly give off gay vibes either."

Josh blinks and stares at Julian for a while and Julian feels drawn to kiss him again, but he doesn't, because they might be having a Heart To Heart and that would be rude. Who is Julian kidding?

He leans in a catches Josh in an open-mouth kiss. "It's fucking cold, man," he says, pulling away with some difficulty (Josh is chasing after him with quick kisses and it makes Julian feel anything  _but_  cold), "And I've got work this evening. Can we go home?"

Josh's smile widens, "Yeah," he says, "let's go,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I rush this relationship thing? I mean... it's been a slow build of over 20k, but still.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And what we have here, boys and girls, is a classic example of what is known as a FILLER.  
> Okay so I realize I usually update faster and my excuse is that my laptop fell apart and I had to have it repaired and I went to Qingdao for a week while my laptop was getting repaired in Beijing??? Anyway. Makeouts happen in this chapter? But, like, I don't actually know how those things work (ahaha shhhh) because I'm ace and I'm innocent okay, I get giggly over hand-holding.

_Julian is knelt over on the ground and blood is pounding loud in his ears. His gaping and he wants to scream –he_ needs _to scream. Blood is pooling on the ground in front of him fast and his vision is going black—_

Julian opens his eyes and light is streaming in through the window. He squints and moves to scrub a hand over his face and is startled when he only succeeds in poking his chin with the end of his arm.

He's fucking drenched in sweat even though it's winter and the heating is off.

The bed is empty and the blankets have been kicked onto the floor.

Julian hasn't dreamed of the battle at San Francisco for months and he hasn't had to deal with the shock of waking up to phantom pains since then. He breathes heavily, staring up at ceiling and fighting back angry tears that have welled up in his eyes. It isn't fucking  _fair_.

"Josh?" he calls out, voice cracking.

There's not sound from the bathroom; the room is truly empty and Julian swings his legs off the bed and sits up. He sits on the edge of the bed and stares at his gauntlets where they're sitting on the ground by the bed. He doesn't have the energy to pick them up and so even though he stares at them and wills them to him, they don't move.

With a sigh, Julian moves to get up and take a quick shower. He hasn't a clue where Josh has gone, but his things are still in the apartment. It's eight o'clock. Julian takes a shower, standing under the spray until the water runs cold and then he stays under the water for a couple more minutes to cry like a goddamn baby.

He emerges and dresses in yesterday's clothes and sits on the bed because it's Christmas Day and he doesn't have work today.

Julian itches for a cigarette, but when he reaches into his pocket, he remembers that he left his lighter and cigarettes at the diner from the day before.

He lies on his back and stares at the cracks in the ceiling overhead, sighing. He's still lying there when the apartment door opens and Josh walks in with something that smells suspiciously like an iHop breakfast.

Julian sits up just as Josh sets a bag down on the bed and takes off his jacket. "Breakfast," he says brightly, and climbs over Julian to straddle his hips. "Consider it my Christmas gift," he says, and kisses Julian breathless.

"You're cheerful," Julian notes lightly. "Pancakes really put you in a good mood, huh?"

"Yes," Josh says, rolling off him and reaching for the bag to take out two white boxes, "It's the pancakes," he says.

"Yeah?" Julian says.

"Mm-hm," Josh opens one of the boxes, revealing pancakes, eggs, and sausages. He hands the second box to Julian with a smile. "When did you wake up? You were out cold an hour ago."

Julian shrugs and doesn't answer. "Was wondering where you went," he says,

"Aw, did you miss me?" Josh blows him a kiss.

Julian rolls his eyes but leans over and takes Josh's mouth in a kiss. He puts maybe a little too much into it but Josh's low groan when he pulls away is worth it.

Josh's eyes flutter open and he scowls, "Dude, I want breakfast, don't start what you don't plan on finishing," he says warningly. "Because I  _will_  have to do something about it,"

Julian finds himself smirking, "Oh yeah? Tell me about it,"

"No business talk over breakfast," Josh chirps and turns his attention to his pancakes before stopping and dropping his plastic fork in horror. His eyes snap up to meet Julian's and it's all happened so quickly, Julian's barely had time to react to anything.

"Fuck, that's not what I meant," Josh says, eyes wide.

"What?"

"You're not business," Josh says, "I didn't mean it like that, I –I"

"-Josh," Julian interrupts, the dots connecting in his mind. "I don't care that you used to be a hooker or a call boy or whatever," he says, "It's fine."

"Good," Josh says, "I'd have to kick your ass if you gave me grief over it."

"Your honor remains unquestioned," Julian assures him, spearing his own eggs. "Merry Christmas, by the way. That's a thing people are supposed to say, right?"

"I guess," Josh says, "Unless I'm Jewish or something. I think 'happy holidays' is the more correct phrase."

Julian sighs. "Happy holidays, then,"

"And to be clear, I was a hooker," Josh says after a moment, "Call boys are called, yeah? I was just a street walker." He's smirking as he eats his pancakes and it's clear that he's holding his superior knowledge of the vocabulary involved in prostitution over Julian.

They eat in silence for a while and then Julian says, "Do you wanna go out today? I mean, it'll probably be warmer… well, anywhere else."

Josh grins and wriggles his eyebrows. "Are you asking me on a date?" he says.

Fuck, he is, isn't he? "We already live together," he says solemnly, "But that's not an excuse to skip steps."

Instead of reacting in amusement, Josh sucks in a sharp breath that he lets out shakily. "Shit," he says, laughing nervously, "I haven't actually dated in a while,"

"I'm hilariously chaste for a twenty year-old," Julian offers, "But, you know…" he waves an arm around pointedly, even as his corresponding gauntlet is still holding onto his fork.

Josh puts the remainder of his breakfast off to the side and reaches over to wrap a hand around Julian's arm, near the end of it.

Julian frowns. He avoids the burnt off ends of his arms. He doesn't even look at the scars if he can help it and Josh's hand is right  _there_ , gold next to the ugly stumps.

"It doesn't make you ugly, you know," he says, "What? Don't look at me like that, it  _doesn't_ ,"

Julian looks away and pulls his arm gently out of grasp, "Whatever," he says. He tries to lighten the mood and changes the subject none too subtly. "It's Christmas Day," he says, "And we're going to Michigan Avenue,"

* * *

Julian can feel Josh watching him when they take the bus across the city and he grins because he knows Josh knows he's being obvious.

He thinks about the day before, sitting on the bed in the apartment and rambling on about work while Josh just listened quietly and then going to work and coming back in the morning when Josh was already asleep. He's zoned out a little and is surprised when he feels a tug against his telekinetic hold on his gauntlets.

He looks down and Josh is holding his hand –or doing the closest thing he can to it.

Julian swallows a scathing remark about the ridiculousness of holding onto his gauntlet because he knows Josh is just trying to be –what, nice? Sweet? –and he shouldn't ruin anything that hasn't even really happened yet by acting like an asshole.

They get off the bus around Millennium Park and walk around with the other idiots freezing their asses off just to look at themselves in Cloud Gate.

Their breaths frost in the air in front of them and Josh drops Julian's hand to stuff both of his deep in his pocket. "Let's go somewhere warmer," Josh says, "We can go waste time at the stores, come on,"

Julian has voluntarily gone shopping in a long time. He usually picks up t-shirts at small stores on the street and it's been a while since he's been in a department store.

Macy's is bizarrely packed with shoppers.

"Aren't people supposed to spend time at home on Christmas Day?" Julian grumbles. "Family time and all that?"

Josh snorts. "This is a city, dude," They wander through the racks of clothes and Julian doesn't really look at the clothes, but Josh actually considers various shirts and jackets, despite the fact that they are definitely not going to buy anything.

A dark leather jacket catches Julian's eye and he snorts. "You still swearing off leather?" he wonders.

Josh shoots him a narrow-eyed look from over the clothes rack that answers the question clearly. "I could live without ever wearing leather again. Or spandex," he adds after a moment. "I definitely don't miss the spandex,"

"Or the dance belts," Julian snickers.

Josh groans. "God, you should've seen David's face when Dani first gave us our costumes," he says. He purses his lips. "I haven't seen David in a while," he says thoughtfully.

"Uh, yeah," Julian says, "But good riddance, I guess. He kind of became more of a dick since M-Day…" That's not exactly true, but he can't think of a more concise way to say that David started distancing himself from the others the moment he realized he no longer had his powers, and that watching him turn a cold shoulder toward his friends pissed Julian off more than anything.

Josh considers this. "So why did you leave the school?" he wonders, "You never said."

"It wasn't the place for me anymore," Julian shrugs. "And I figured, why stay there if I didn't want to?"

"Makes sense," Josh says lightly, "Don't you miss anyone?"

Julian shrugs, "I call the school once or twice a month to talk to Cess and Santo,"

"You don't miss anything else?"

Julian shifts uneasily and doesn't meet Josh's eye. "I don't think about it that much," he mutters. Then he adds, "Quit trying to make me feel guilty. What about  _you_? Why did you leave?"

Josh sighs. "I figured, why not? It's hard keeping up with all the shit that goes on with the X-Men, you know? When we first …became X-Men, everyone made it sound like we'd be helping people, but most of the time we never even saw civilians. It was more  _helpful_  of me to sit in the E.R of a hospital and waiting for incoming patients, but doctors never want me  _around_  because to most people being an X-Man means bad business."

"You should go to med school, then," Julian says, "And become a doctor or something. You could open a private business for that shit," When he glances up, Josh is smiling vaguely.

"Med school," Josh repeats, amused, "You know, most of the doctors I've met don't like my mutation; they think it's particularly unnatural. There's even a science paper that was published a while ago that's convinced me healing people is ultimately a bad thing,"

Julian feels a sudden pang of anger that makes him clench his teeth. "That's fucking backwards," he says, "Like, that's actual  _bullshit_ , what the hell?"

"I used to think it was my job to heal everyone," Josh says thoughtfully. "But people have been dying and shit since the beginning of time. It's the way things work. People get sick, people get hurt. For example," he points across the store, "The woman at the jewelry counter?"

Julian looks that way to see a slender brunette woman standing behind the counter, looking down intently at a device in her hands.

"She's got a brain tumor," Josh says flatly.

Julian whirls around to stare at the woman again. "Shit," he says, "How do you know?"

"She's taking an over the counter aspirin right now –she thinks it's just a migraine," Josh says, "But I can tell from here there's something wrong with her cells –it feels too… stuffy, I guess. Most healthy people feel  _clearer_? I don't think the tumor's malignant, though, so she'll probably go to the doctor's. She'll probably get an MRI and have the tumor removed as soon as possible, no complications."

Julian stares at Josh, vaguely aware that his mouth is open in surprise.

Josh smiles, "I just hope she's got good health insurance,"

"You…" Julian searches for something to say.

"C'mon," Josh takes Julian's arm and pulls him along, "You should try something on," he picks up a shirt and holds it up to Julian, who rolls his eyes.

"We're not buying it, what's the point?"

"Fun," Josh says, "People try clothes on for fun. It appeals to peoples' vanity, too," He grins, "You know, you always wore red, but I think green is more your color,"

Julian regards the plaid shirt that Josh is holding up to him. "Green," He echoes, "Why, because it brings out the color of my eyes?"

Josh raises his eyebrows, "Your eyes are blue," he says dismissively, "Green won't bring it out," He continues to press the shirt toward Julian. "Try it on,"

"What about you?" Julian complains, eyeballing the long sleeves of the shirt warily.

Josh laughs, "Gold is surprisingly clashing with most colors. Safest bets are black and white, and that's just boring after a while. Come one,  _please_?" he juts out his lower lip a little and flutters his white eyelashes ever so slightly.

Julian narrows his eyes. "I don't see the point of this," he says, taking the hanger. He marches toward the dressing room in a huff only to find that when they get there, Josh has picked up more clothes.

He pushes them into a handicap dressing room and sits on a bench in the room.

"Do you mind?" Julian frowns.

"Nope," Josh says, popping the 'p' and leering exaggeratedly.

Julian stands there, still holding the plaid shirt. He feels a rush of self-consciousness and chews at his lower lip. He's really close to saying  _do I have to_  but eventually he just sighs and to avoid appearing petulant, throws his jacket aside and pulls his shirt over his head.

Josh pulls his legs over to sit cross-legged on the bench. He's grinning when Julian turns, pulling on the green shirt. He hums approvingly "Green  _is_  your color," he says.

Julian makes a face, "I don't wear button downs anymore," he says, "The buttons are kind of a pain,"

Josh gets off the bench and over until he's only an inch or so away from Julian. He looks up at Julian through his eyelashes in a way that is really just unfair. "In my experience," he says, "It  _is_ easier to unbutton than to button up." he smiles. "Maybe this isn't the shirt for you, though, hm?" he slides his hands under the shirt, across Julian's chest. His hands are warm and dry and he slides his hands down along Julian's sides, touch light and—

Julian blinks, trying to regain his line of thought, which completely disappears when Josh finally rests his hands on Julian hips and just –just  _keeps_  them there.

Julian realizes he's been holding his breath and that he's been staring at a spot on the ceiling behind Josh. He looks down and notices that Josh is watching him with a slight frown. His eyes are searching Julian's face for something and he doesn't seem to be finding it. After a moment, he steps back. "I'm making you uncomfortable," he says flatly, expression closing off. He pulls his hands away last and steps back further, "It's okay," he says,

"Josh," Julian tries,

"No, fuck, I didn't want you to"

"-Josh," Julian interrupts desperately. He crosses the room and puts his hands on Josh's shoulders. "I wasn't uncomfortable," he says, "Look I was –turned on, okay? It kind of took me by surprise,"

Josh stares at him for a moment and then smiles a little, "You forgot what it was like to be aroused?" he says.

Julian flushes, warmth creeping up the back of his neck. "Shut up," he says in a huff, "Okay? I don't like people –they just  _stare_  and it's not –okay, and would you want to get off with these stupid robot hands, anyway? I just"

Josh laughs, but it's not exactly a laugh that says it's about something Julian's said. He laughs in relief and then he leans in and kisses Julian  _obscenely_. It's nothing like the other kisses; it's all open mouthed and -oh  _God_  - _tongue_.

Julian's instincts kick in after a moment where he just stands there like an idiot and he pushes Josh back to sit down on the bench in the room.

"Christ," Josh whispers when they pull apart briefly.

Someone bangs on the door of the dressing room. "Hey, get out of there," a man says angrily, "No shenanigans in the fitting rooms!"

"Fuck," Julian says, climbing off Josh's lap. He pulls off the checkered shirt and tugs on his own shirt and then his jacket.

Josh just sits there unhelpfully, grinning and following Julian out of the room. They emerge from the fitting room to find a very unimpressed security guard waiting for them with an outraged employee by his side.

A couple of other shoppers are peering out at them from their dressing rooms and more people watch them warily as Josh and Julian are escorted out of the store.

They pass by the jewelry counter and Julian glances at the brain tumor employee, who is clutching her head with an irritated expression, like she doesn't have  _time_  for headaches.

As soon as they're outside, Josh bursts out laughing, "Oh my God," he says, "That was  _awesome_ ,"

"That was embarrassing," Julian grumbles, but he's smiling, too. "C'mon, let's go get something to eat,"

"There's a food court around the block," Josh says, "Let's go,"

"Hey Josh?" Julian says when they start down the sidewalk, "Feel free to, like, touch me whenever."

"Whenever?" Josh repeats, tone teasing.

Julian rolls his eyes, "C'mon, let's go,"

When they arrive at the food court, Josh says, "Salad."

"Salad," Julian repeats incredulously.

"Yeah. Cesar. With grilled chicken," he says.

Julian makes a face and says, "Fine. Sit down somewhere. I'll order, yeah?"

Josh sighs. "I'm  _hungry_ ," he says melodramatically, " _Hurry_ ," At the same time, he drapes his arms around Julian's shoulders and leans against him.

Julian huffs in amusement, "You know I would," he says, "If you'd go sit the fuck down already." He feels lips against the side of his neck, and Josh's breath hot against his skin.

Josh's arms slide down to wrap around Julian's waist.

"This is it," Julian complains, "We're never going to be able to go anywhere again. We'll starve because we'll never get anything done."

"I'm sure we'll get  _some_  things done," Josh murmurs suggestively. He laughs when Julian squirms out of his grasp, but lets him go easily.

"I'm going," Julian says firmly, eyes narrowing. "Don't try to stop me,"

Josh's attempt to appear innocent is ruined by the fact that his pleasant smile keeps turning into a leer.

"You're an idiot," Julian says, but leans in to give him a swift kiss before he goes.

Josh's cackling follows Julian as he heads toward the counters of the various food places. He's relieved that his back is turned because it means that Josh can't see his big, stupid grin.

Julian orders their lunches and glances back toward the seating area. Josh is easy enough to spot between his gold skin and white hair.

He's sitting at a table, but what makes Julian frown is that there's a woman sitting across from Josh. Her back is turned to Julian, but her hair is blonde, and her clothes look nice. Julian can see that Josh is gripping the sides of the tables, despite his neutral expression.

Julian grabs the tray of food when his order is called and he heads over to the table quickly, dropping the tray onto the tabletop only a little harder than necessary. "Hey," he says, "Who's this?"

The woman stares back at Julian, disdain clear in her blue eyes. "The same could be asked of you," she says in clipped tones.

"Mom," Josh snaps, "This is Julian. He used to go to Xavier's, too. We… live together now."

Julian squints at the woman –Josh's mom, apparently. "Didn't you disinherit him?" he says.

Grace Foley looked back at Julian coolly, "It was for the best at the time," she said.

"That's bullshit," Julian says,

"Julian," Josh says exasperatedly.

Julian continues staring at Grace. She's got that dignified look that reminds him of his mother, and Julian remembers suddenly one of the reasons he befriended Josh all those years ago; he'd seen Josh pulling up to the school with his mother and father in a black BMW and he'd known back then that even if he'd been flown in from Beverly Hills and Josh was from New York, they were the same. He had been right of course: they'd both had asshole parents who disinherited them before the year was up.

"Excuse me, young man," Grace begins with a frown.

"Julian Keller," he corrects.

"Mr. Keller"

"- _Mother_ ," Josh interrupts grabbing Julian's arm and pulling him way from Grace, forcing him to sit down next to him. "What're you doing in Chicago?"

"Henry lives here, Joshua," she says.

Josh's cool expression breaks for a moment, "He… lives in Chicago," he says, "Since when?"

"He moved here with Jenny two years ago," Grace says.

"What… what about Joey? Is he still…"

"He's still in Singapore," Grace confirmed.

Julian wants to say something, but he's no idea who the fuck they're talking about. He settles for looking from Grace to Josh with suspicion, waiting for the moment to jump in to give Grace a verbal beat down.

"How's dad?" Josh says after a moment, like he doesn't really want to know but he can't help but ask.

"Oh, Howard's on his honeymoon. He didn't invite you to the wedding, dear?" Grace says lightly.

Josh scowls. "You didn't tell me you  _divorced_ ," he snaps. "What the hell, Mom?"

" _Language_ ," she says,

"I don't think you have a  _right_  to tell me what to do anymore," he retorts. "What's Henry's address?"

"I don't think you should just appear at his home, Joshua," Grace says disapprovingly, "He has a family now –a little girl, and"

"-He wouldn't want his mutant kid brother to swing by, is that it? Or he wouldn't want Uncle Josh to come by and meet his  _niece_? What the  _fuck_ , Mom?" Josh jumps to his feet and leans over the table, glaring at Grace, who cringes away.

Julian supposes he's gotten used to the way Josh looks and doesn't even find the huge whites of his eyes creepy anymore. But Grace hasn't seen Josh since before his second mutation, when he still had blond hair and white skin and blue eyes. He's surprised Grace even recognized Josh at all, and now she's being stared down by a four years older son, who can actually look imposing when he wants to.

"That's not fair!" Grace says angrily, standing up, too. "You can't just expect to be able to barge into our lives after all this time –your people are  _trouble_ , Joshua"

"-Barge into  _your_  lives? What the hell do you think you're doing right now?" Josh says, "Mom –look at me, I  _live_  here, and you didn't know, just like I didn't know Henry's here. You don't  _give_  a shit, Mom, and I saw you –you were ready to leave before I saw you, and you could still have walked away anyway. Shit, I wouldn't have followed you."

"That's not true. You're my son," Grace whispers, eyes wide. "Joshua, we miss you, we do –I just don't think"

"-No, you don't care, Mom. You haven't even asked me how I am,"

"You didn't give me a chance," she protests.

"It's the first thing most people ask. You just stared at me for a minute like you were trying to see through me. Like you were hoping I wasn't  _real_ ,"

"-How are you, dear?" Grace says stubbornly.

"We live in Lower West Side, Mom –you'd never set foot anywhere near where we live, am I right?" Josh says, "I never finished high school, I've been in  _numerous_  comas, people have tried to kill me more times than I can count, I've seen my classmates getting killed –oh yeah, and I'm probably a little fucked up in the head from everything that I've been through in the last four years. That's how I've fucking  _been_ , Mom. Oh yeah, and Julian's my boyfriend."

Julian raises his eyebrows at the back of Josh's head but doesn't protest the announcement when Grace turns to stare at Julian with renewed disgust. Anti-mutant sentiment usually goes hand in hand with other types of bigotry and so Julian isn't sure why he didn't expect this.

"Lady," he says finally, "I think you should leave.  _Now_ , if you don't mind,"

She says nothing and stands. Before Grace stalks away, she pins Josh with a look, like she doesn't know who he is. She walks away without another word, ignoring the couple of stares they've attracted.

"Fuck," Josh says, watching her go. He sinks back into his seat, looking dazed. "That was my mom, Julian,"

"Yeah, I gathered," Julian says, taking Grace's vacated seat across from Josh, "She reminds me of my mom –which, no offense, doesn't exactly make me like her. Joey and Henry are your brothers?"

Josh nods slowly. "Henry's thirty and Joey's twenty-six. Fuck, I've got a niece,"

"Do you want to meet her?" Julian wonders, "We could probably track her down if necessary,"

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"I have an older brother. He's kind of a dick, but he got engaged last year," Julian shrugs. "Didn't bother telling me, of course. Honestly, my parents never really remembered my existence before. Can't really expect them to remember out of the blue now, right?"

"You keep tabs on your family?" Josh says,

"Yeah, in the vaguest sense," Julian pushes the food tray toward Josh. "Eat your salad, Josh."

"At least it wasn't my dad, I guess," Josh says eventually, reaching for his food. "God, that was out of  _nowhere_ ,"

"She's not gonna bother you, is she?"

Josh snorts, "If I'm lucky I won't hear from her for another four years," he says.

"So  _this_ isn't going to bother you, is it?" Julian says.

Josh picks up his fork and stabs at his lettuce. "Absolutely not," he says stiffly.

Julian frowns and watches Josh's closed off expression as he concentrates on his food. It's a clear sign that this isn't something they're going to be talking about –possibly ever, if Josh can help it.

"You probably already know this, but you don't need them," Julian says, "Just saying, fuck them. Family doesn't end in blood, isn't that the saying?"

Josh smiled a little. "Yeah," he says, "I know that,"

Julian shrugs and pulls his own lunch toward him. "Just making sure," he says, "And just to be even more clear, your parents are idiots and you're a better person than them." He feels like he could go on. Hell, he could probably rant about this for an hour straight, but he bites his tongue and it's worth it when Josh's expression brightens further. Shit, he's turning into the world's biggest sap. What the hell has Josh done to him?

"Aw," Josh says putting down his fork and reaching out to cup Julian's face. "You're cute when you get defensive for me."

Julian frowns. "Stop it," he warns, but Josh goes on, crooning loudly and exaggeratedly over how warm and fuzzy this makes him feel.

Julian shakes Josh's hands away and leans back, scowling, " _Dude_ ," he complains.

Josh just beams. "Admit it; you're prepared to take someone down for my honor,"

"No, you can handle yourself," Julian says.

"But you'd still want to do something," Josh insists.

"Shut up," It's not a 'no', of course, but there are too many feelings going on and Julian is shutting down that operation before it gets started.

Josh looks smug.

"Well I guess it's my  _job_ ," Julian says, "Boyfriend, remember? You said so,"

Josh's expression falls. "Look, I was just trying to piss off my mom…" he says, "I mean, hell, if you don't want"

"-Stop," Julian says, "Stop talking." He presses a light kiss to of Josh's lips. "Might as well call it something, I guess."

"Kiss me again," Josh demands, "But don't be such a girl about it this time,"

"Um, excuse  _me_ ," But he doesn't finish but Josh grabs him by the front and reels him in for a kiss over the table that tastes vaguely like the cool freshness of lettuce.

Julian laughs and pulls away. "Eat your fucking leaves, Josh. We've got time," And the truth of those words makes  _him_  feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside, though he swears privately that he wouldn't admit that under threat of death.

"Yeah, okay," Josh concedes. He turns back to his neglected salad, but nudges Julian's foot under the table.

 _Under threat of death_ , Julian reminds himself during the game of footsie that ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, a random appearance of a family member! Originally, the appearance of a figure in the food court was going to be someone else that was actually relevant to plot, but then I was like nahhh, let's but the 'rents in. Even so, I guess this chapter isn't COMPLETELy filler, because I'm setting some things up for later, but still. Not much happens except a LOT of words. All in all, I'm not sure if I'm as satisfied with this chapter as I've been with chapters in the past. Ah well...
> 
> Details:  
> -Yes, Josh's mother's name is Grace and he has two, unnamed older brothers. What's Joey doing in Singapore??? (He works there).  
> -Julian's eyes actually are listed as blue, surprise, surprise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I suck. A lot.  
> This is not only a shorter than usual chapter, but it is a seriously late update. All I can say is that I guess my steam is running low and at least I will be able to wrap things up in a chapter or two and then the reader can make up the future of these two idiots up in their MIND.

The day after Christmas Day, Julian has work again, despite it being Saturday, but Josh's unspecified new job apparently doesn't start until the new year. Julian gets out of bed with Josh still asleep and gets ready for a shift at the café.

When he arrived, Miranda is just opening up shop, squinting and looking very annoyed. She scowled at his grin. "I don't usually drink that much, okay? What would you know, anyway? You're underage."

They stare at each other for a moment before breaking into sniggers.

"Alright, you know what to do," Miranda says, "I'm going to get some bread baking. Please don't scare away my customers,"

Julian rolls his eyes, "Sure thing, boss," he says with a mock salute. He takes his place behind the counter and tugs his apron out of his backpack and puts it on.

The morning is particularly slow because everyone probably doesn't want to venture out of bed. Julian wonders if Josh is still asleep, and what he'll do when he wakes, if he doesn't have work. Does he wander the city or stay inside? Julian has a sudden thought of Josh braving the streets to attack freezing hobos and save them from hypothermia.

He snorts in amusement, and the image of a lone barista laughing to himself is probably not the most inviting to the patron who chooses that moment to walk in.

Julian would care more, of course, except the patron in question is Blond Man, who is an inexplicably rich patron to Miranda's shabby café, and Julian really wants another generous tip. He wipes the grin from his face quickly and watches Blond Man approach with a carefully neutral expression. "Good morning, sir," he says with forced cheer, "What can I get for you?"

"What do you recommend?" Blond Man says, provoking a sense of déjà vu in Julian.

He purses his lips and says, "The latte is still good," he says finally. "Four-seventeen. Will that be all?"

"I'll have a lemon poppy muffin," Blond Man smiles.

"One-fifty. Total is five-sixty-seven." Julian rings it up. "Will that be for here or to go?"

When Blond Man says, "To go," Julian can't help but feel a little bit disappointed.

"Sure thing," he says, "Can I get a name? For you cup, of course,"

"I'm the only person here," Blond Man says, raising his eyebrows.

Julian shrugs, "It's more for my benefit, in case you become a regular," he throws in a winning smile and Blond Man gives in.

"Joshua," he says, "Josh. My name's Josh,"

"Huh," Julian says, scrawling the name across a paper cup, "That's my boyfriend's name," He smiles politely but gets an unexpected glare in return

Josh doesn't leave a tip.

The news is on when Julian walks into Clockwork to take the stairs up to Isis and normally he'd just go right by the little TV in the corner over the bar, except the face staring at him from a photo on the TV screen is familiar. It makes his heart drop into his stomach. "Hey," he tells the bartender, "Turn up the volume on that,"

The bartender obliges.

"…latest victim of the fiend now being called the Angel Maker has been confirmed to be sixteen-year-old April Jennings, daughter of Lionel Jennings of Jennings & Marks, LLC. April was discovered in the Lower West Side district of the city early this morning. She is confirmed to have been found with her hair bleached and a halo spray-painted on the wall behind her head where her body was propped. April, who was female, unlike the past three victims of the Angel Maker, was reported to have been found in boy's clothing, with her hair cut short. We have  _Evolution of a Serial Killer_  author, Lynn Williams, here today to talk about why the Angel Maker's victim pool has changed..."

There's a number on the bottom of the screen that one could call with tips on the case, and Julian says loudly, "Where's the phone?"

The bartender frowns, "You can't use it,"

"I work upstairs, I'll use the damn phone if I please," Julian snaps, going around the counter to find the telephone before the bartender can stop him. He locks himself in the backroom and dials the number, waiting for someone to pick up on the tip line. "The serial killer didn't change their pattern," he says, "April Jennings was trans –his name is August, okay? I saw him two fucking days ago," he hangs up before the person on the other side of the line can ask him who he is.

He's in a bad mood when he goes upstairs for work and Ali says, "Wow, Christmas Day that bad?"

Julian straightens his stupid waistcoat and says flatly, "No. It's just. I dunno, that stupid fucking Angel Maker guy,"

"Oh, I heard," Ali says, "It sucks, but life goes on, you know? Tequila and lime are needed at table three, for example," she pushes a tray of shot glasses toward Julian and he sighs, picks up the tray, and heads across the floor.

* * *

Julian pushes open the door of the apartment, bone-tired, and is surprised to find that Josh is still awake.

"Hey," he says, "It's two-thirty, what are you still awake for?"

"Just woke up," Josh mutters, rolling away so that his back is to Julian. "Bad dream, I guess,"

Julian goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for sleep and thinks  _thank God tomorrow's Sunday_  because Sunday is the one day this week he doesn't have any shifts lined up and the only obligations he's got for the day is going to the Laundromat down the street to have his meager wardrobe and uniforms washed.

"Still awake?" Julian says quietly when he slips into bed.

There's no answer and then Josh says, "Yeah," and turns over and wraps his arms around Julian's waist so that they're lying chest to chest, "D'you ever get, like, nightmares, I guess?"

"Sometimes," Julian finds himself admitting, "Not that much anymore,"

"Do you see people dying, too?" Josh murmurs, burrowing his face against Julian's collarbone.

"No, but I used to. I used to see the bus," He doesn't have to clarify which one, of course. "Now I just see my hands burning off in front of my eyes. Christ, I can still remember how it felt…"

Josh's breath is warm against Julian's skin. "I'm scared I'll go… dark," he says, "In my nightmares, my touch is still toxic and you know the worst part of all that… I can feel the death in my cells and I can feel it when it's transferred to someone else. For a second, it feels good, like, relief, and I just want to get rid of the decay and feel good again –that's what I remember about it. I wonder if that's how Kevin felt, and I don't –fuck, I'm so afraid of becoming like him."

Julian's sleep-deprived brain takes an extra minute to figure out who Josh is talking about, but then Josh has drifted off to sleep.

That night, Julian dreams of the smell of burning flesh and sitting outside of Clockwork beside August, sharing a cigarette. He turns to hand the cigarette over to August, but suddenly he's not holding the cigarette anymore and his fingers are burning away from the tips, horrifyingly slow.

August is sitting in the alleyway outside of Clockwork and Isis and he's dead, brown hair bleached yellow and a halo spray-painted behind his head.

Julian's arms are bleeding, crimson spilling from the stumps he's been left with, and the alley is dark but August is glowing, surrounded in a golden aura, like an angel. August's hair is starting to look more white than blond and the golden halo behind his head is dripping down, paint running down to touch the skin on his neck where it's touching the wall behind him.

The gold runs across August's skin and he opens eyes his eyes, bright and white and not dead –it's too bright and Julian tries to shield his eyes from the angel.

August is gone and Josh stands in his place, glowing, and golden and magnificent, washed in a white light. He reaches out but doesn't touch Julian, who is covered in blood, who is knelt on the ground, broken and crying.

"I can feel the death in my cells," The angel that is Josh says, impossibly sad. "Do you see people dying?"

Julian is sitting outside of Clockwork with August. He turns to hand the cigarette over, and August takes it with a smile.

Julian wakes up, thrashing, and doesn't register Josh trying to hold him down or the few objects in the room flying around their heads, wrapped in the green glow of his telekinetic hold.

"You're awake, you're safe," Josh says urgently. His hands are cupping Julian's face and it's still dark in the apartment. "Julian, man, please –put the things down, okay?"

His voice is soothing in the darkness and Julian relaxes and feels objects dropping to the ground around them. He can feel wetness on his face; he's been crying. "Guess this is the night for bad dreams, huh?" he says hoarsely.

Josh laughs softly and humorlessly and climbs off of Julian to lie back down beside him. "Jesus, Keller, I was a second away from doing something to your head to calm you down –and that could've gone badly, with you still out of it but  _not_ , you know? Christ…" he trails off into a rant that's too garbled to follow and Julian throws an arm over Josh and buries his face against his shirt. Josh is warm and is odorless and clean, somehow. He doesn't smell like smoke like Julian knows he does.

"Shut up," he croaks.

"You wanna talk about it?" Josh says,

"Guy I met a couple months ago was killed yesterday," Julian whispers, "God, I saw him a couple days ago and now he's dead,"

Josh is silent, but he puts an arm around Julian and it's more comforting than a hollow  _I'm sorry_.

He's not sure when he falls asleep again, but when he wakes up, light is streaming in through the windows and he's entirely sprawled over Josh, who he immediately realizes is already awake.

"How long've you been awake?" he mumbles.

"A while," Josh says vaguely. His fingers run down along Julian's back, tracing his spine. "You don't have work today, right?"

"No," Julian says.

"Good. Look, man, I've been thinking, and I want you to know something, okay?"

Julian's not sure if he's going to like what comes next, but he's saved from having to answer when there's a sudden rap on the door.

"What the fuck is the  _time_?" Julian groans, getting up with a start.

The knock comes again, along with a shout, "Open up –Chicago PD,"

Julian whirls around to meet Josh's eyes, which are just as wide as his.

"Chicago PD?" Josh mouths.

"Did you  _do_  something?" Julian demands as the knocking continues.

"No! Did  _you_?" Josh says, getting off the bed.

"No!" He moves toward the door.

"Open up, Julian," the same man from before shouts.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he shouts back, "Jesus  _Christ_ ," He yanks open the door to see a familiar face waiting on the other side. "Can I help you?"

"You called the Chicago PD tip-line regarding the death of April Jennings –I listened to the tape, I recognize your voice." Detective Olsen says,

"Sharp ear," Julian leans against the doorway. "What about it?"

"I'd just like to confirm some of what you said,"

"What's to confirm?" Julian says flatly, "August was transgender, so the Angel Maker's M.O wasn't, like, broken or anything. I saw, on the television, that people think the Angel Maker's killing chicks, too, but they're not,"

Detective Olsen stares at Julian for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. "Have you lived here long, Julian –what was it?"

"Keller, and four months."

"I hope it's a coincidence that we're meeting again in a situation surrounding this case," he says.

Julian narrows his eyes, "I met August twice," he says, "I saw him last Wednesday, he came to the café I was working at. Want the name?"

Olsen continues to regard Julian for a couple of seconds, like he's not getting the answers he expected, and he's not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. "Can I come inside for a moment?"

"No," Julian says.

That seems more like something Olsen is expecting. "Alright, well, thank you for your help, Mr. Keller –ah, son, how  _old_ are you?"

Julian purses his lips. "Twenty," he says. "Is that all?"

"You're a mutant, right?"

Julian crosses his arms. "No, sir, my hands are just floating around me by themselves,"

"Your roommate's a mutant, too, yes?" Olsen says.

His tone doesn't strike Julian right, and he calls over his shoulder somewhat sharply, "Josh –guy wants to talk to you," he opens the door wider and feels Josh appear behind him.

"Oh. Detective Wilson, was it?" Josh says lightly.

"Olsen, actually. Hello –Josh, right?"

"Yessir, Detective," he says, so polite it sounds mocking. He slings an arm over Julian's shoulders, "How can I help you?"

"I just need to ask some basic questions. How long have you been living here?"

Josh blows out a long breath. "A week or so, I guess," he answers. "Will that be all, sir?"

"Yes, thank you. Have a good day, boys," Olsen says. He continues to stare at Julian and Josh for a moment before he finally turns away and Julian makes haste to slam the door shut.

"Creep," he mutters.

"What was that about?" Josh demands, "You called a tip line?"

"It was a spur of the moment thing," Julian insists, "I thought those things were supposed to be anonymous, too, okay?"

Josh groans, "You are such a…"

"You wanna finish that?" Julian says, watching Josh shuffle back to the bed and fall into it. He follows, climbing over Josh and leaning over him. "Hm?"

"Oof," Josh groans, "Get off, get off! I surrender!"

"No, say what you were going to say," Julian challenges, feeling a grin curl across his lips.

"Such a wonderful person," Josh wheezes, "God, you're a fucking elephant for someone who looks so light." He tries to push Julian away, but Julian remains sprawled over Josh.

"Muscle mass,"

"Bullshit –ah, Christ, please?"

"It's Julian, actually," Julian says cheekily, "Right, and what's it that you want me to do?"

"Get off, man,"

Julian looks Josh in the eye, considering the request. "Would you like to help or watch?" he says finally, and his smirk widens when he hears the slight hitch in Josh's breath that has nothing to do with the fact that Julian is lying on top of him.

Josh surges up and their mouths meet in the middle.

* * *

"So is there a specific reason you wanted to sleep with me this morning and not, like, sometime before or later?" Josh says.

Julian groans. "Sh," he says, "You're ruining the afterglow."

"I didn't say anything for two whole minutes!" Josh protests, earning a pillow to the face.

Christ, Julian's just trying to lie here and in exhaustion for a few minutes. Is that too much to ask? "I swear to God, Foley, I will withhold your right to sex if this is how it's going to be."

"You wouldn't," Josh says confidently.

"Oh yeah?"

Josh curls up at Julian's side, resting his head against Julian's collarbone. "Yeah," he says, "You like me too much,"

Julian doesn't say anything for a moment, because Josh might be teasing, but there's a truth in his words, and why is it that it is  _now,_ when it's almost noon on a Saturday Julian's got free, on this Saturday  _after_  he's been making out with Josh casually for the past three days,  _after_  they've just had their hands around each other's dicks (okay, so there's a couple of technical truths and lies of omission in that last part, but  _semantics_ ) –why is it  _now_  that Julian's stupid fucking mind is deciding to fully comprehend the truly terrifying reality of just how much he's into Josh.

"Yeah," he says finally, sounding a little strangled. "I guess that's true."

* * *

They end up spending the rest of the day in the apartment, venturing outside only once for food.

On Sunday, Julian wakes up to find Josh already awake, arms folded behind his head as he stares up at the ceiling. "Sleep well?" he says softly despite Julian giving no indication of being awake.

"Alright," he says, "I think you kicked me at some point last night, though."

"Did not,"

"How would you know? You were asleep."

Josh rolls his eyes and sits up. "Remember yesterday"

"-Not really, it was really uneventful"

"-how I was going to tell you something?" Josh finishes loudly, throwing Julian a dirty look that only gets a cheeky grin in return. "Before that detective guy dropped by?"

Julian thinks back. "Oh," he says, "Right." He searches the room briefly for his gauntlets and, finding them on the floor on underneath the bed, summons them to him. He props himself up on his elbows and looks at Josh, whose skin is shining in the light seeping in through the window blinds. It makes him look radiant –literally, because it's like he's glowing. It occurs to Julian that he is dating a guy who looks like a fucking god of some sort –Apollo, maybe. "It's not, like, something really bad, is it?"

Josh sighs. "No, it's just –I said I found work, right?"

Julian does not like the hesitant way Josh is approaching the subject. "Right." he says, frowning a little. "Look, if you were lying, it's okay, I can help you find"

"-it's not that," Josh says quickly. "Fuck." he runs a hand through his hair, "It's just. I don't you to be angry. You know I was kind of hitch-hiking across the country before I came here, right?"

"Right."

"So, I  _did_  have to make money."

It clicks, then. "Dude, I don't care that you're that you're a –a sex worker or whatever, okay? Christ, most nights I work at a bar"

"-so"

"-it's a strip bar for rich assholes with mutant fetishes, Josh," Julian explains. "Just…" he searches Josh's face for something –anything, but his expression is closed off, blank in a way that it's easy for him to do with his seemingly blank eyes. Julian's lying about not caring –of course he fucking  _cares_. He doesn't like the thought of some other douchebag throwing money at Josh just to be able to fucking  _touch_  him but –"Be safe, I guess. I can't stop you if that's what you want to do."

Josh stares at Julian and after a moment his composure breaks and his bemusement is betrayed by the crease in his brow. Then he makes a frustrated sound. "That's  _not_  what I want to do, okay?"

"What?"

"Shit, I wanted to tell you that yes, I've been a fucking hooker since before I saw you in San Francisco but I'm not doing it anymore."

Julian blinks. "What part of that was supposed to make me angry?" he wonders.

Josh blinks, too, growing confusion apparent. "Uh, the past… hooking?"

Julian snorts and sits up so that he's sitting at Josh's side and not looking up at him. "I already knew that, remember?"

"I have problems!" Josh blurts out, "You don't want to date me,"

"I already am," Julian says, raising an eyebrow. "Do you want me to dump you?"

"No," Josh says, "I'm just saying, I have problems, and you're going to realize this and  _then_ you'll dump me."

"So you're saying I should dump you now, and avoid trouble later on." Julian concludes flatly.

"Yes! I mean no! Fuck!" Josh flops back on his back and Julian sighs lying back down on his side to look down at Josh, how is lying with his eyes squeezed shut.

"You're a fucking dumbass, Foley," Julian says, and leans over to kiss the corner of Josh's mouth. He sits back up, "Come on. Shower and then food. I'm starving." He takes Josh's hand in his gauntlet and pulls him along toward the bathroom.

They shower –well, mostly –the fact is that, in the end, they're clean, and they brush their teeth. It's all feeling very domestic and Julian smiles at Josh before he opens the door, once they're all bundled up to go outside. "Should I dump you now?" he says, "You know, since you're already on your way out."

"You wouldn't dare," Josh says with narrowed eyes.

"Wouldn't want to." Julian is officially a complete sap, but there's only one witness to this matter, so he supposes it's alright.

He opens the door and they both stop in their tracks.

There's a person slumped against the wall opposite their door, dressed in a white t-shirt and slacks and hair a weird yellow-orange from being bleached. There's a circle of gold behind the body's head, spray-painted on the wall to look like a halo.

Julian hears Josh distantly, like he's a thousand miles off: "Fuck."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Vague mentions of sex..... imagine what you will, I will not write it but I'm just gonna say that I can see Julian trying at first to be sexy about it because let's be real he's like 20 and his only canon gf is Sophia when he was like 16 (???) so we can conclude here that he is probably not actually that experienced about anything and Josh is like Julian pls I had to deal with people trying to have the sexy sex all the time and so Josh just laughs and is very giggly about everything bc sex is fun not sexy


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words can not explain how sorry I am that this update was so late. I've been struggling with writer's block and whatnot. Well. Enjoy!

Laura appears in the middle of the staff lounge on Sunday afternoon in a haze of pink mist, Megan at her side.

Cessily, who had in fact snuck into the lounge for her coffee fix while Logan was out on a mission to save the multiverse, blinks in confusion. "Uh," she says eloquently. "I swear to God I'm allowed to be in here."

"Julian's been arrested," Laura says grimly, before Cessily can feel properly glad to see her. "Josh called me."

"What?" Cessily says, stomach flipping and all thoughts of her delicious French Vanilla latte still being brewed in the fancy coffee maker flying out of her mind. "What for?"

If possible, the grave line of Laura's lips deepens. Her lips are turning white with how hard they're pressed together.

Megan answers for her: "Serial homicide," she says.

* * *

Chicago in late December is colder than anywhere Cessily has ever been, and on top of that, they appear in front of a run-down apartment outside, and Cessily is only wearing jeans and a sweater.

"Where are we?" Cessily stutters, wrapping her arms around her to maintain some illusion of warmth.

"Wrong place." Laura says.

Megan frowns. "Huh." she turns to a large man passing by on the street, "Excuse me, can you tell me the address of the nearest police station?"

He looks momentarily bewildered but recites the address and Megan nods once before taking Cessily and Laura's hands again and speeding them through Limbo to arrive before the Chicago Police Department.

There's an unexpected horde of reporters braving the cold to stand outside the building, and when Cessily, Laura, and Megan arrive in the magenta flash of Megan's portal spell, they turn their attention to the mutant newcomers.

"Mercury! Mercury!" Cessily hears someone calling, amongst other things.

She can't help but glance around and she hears the same voice asking, "Did you know Hellion was a psychopath? Is this a plea for attention? For help?"

They shoulder past the reporters into the police station.

Laura gets them past the front desk with a glare. The FBI is in the station and they stop the girls before they can get to the interrogation rooms.

"Thank fuck," Josh comes charging out of one of the rooms in the station, looking thoroughly pissed off. "He didn't fucking do it, I've been trying to tell these assholes for hours."

"Mr. Foley, please calm down," says one agent.

"No, you bag of dicks, listen to me. He didn't do it! I was with him all fucking night. I think I would've noticed if he ran out at one point to murder someone and dump their body outside our door."

The agent sighs, like he's heard this a couple thousand times. "We understand, Mr. Foley, we just need to ask some preliminary questions."

Josh laughs loudly. "And that takes three hours, huh? You've got nothing on him, do you? You're holding him because he's a mutant." He turns to Cessily, Laura and Megan. "They put one of those God-awful power-inducers on his neck –it's fucking dehumanizing."

"Power-inducer devices are standard procedure in dealing with mutant and otherwise super-human individuals," the FBI agent says flatly, "Because Mr. Keller does not have wrists"

"You're asking to be punched in the face, man," Josh shouts, "You're holding my boyfriend for no reason –the real killer's still out there!"

Cessily takes a moment to appreciate how Josh, who rarely raises his voice above normal talk tones, is actually screaming at officers in the middle of the police station. He's  _pissed_. It's a beautiful sort of thing.

"Boyfriend?" Megan mutters, because that's just what she chooses to hear out of everything that's been said.

"Josh," Laura says calmly, "Julian will be let go in a few hours when these officers have nothing on him. In the meantime, we can call the X-Men's lawyer if necessary." She pins a look on the FBI agent with them that has the agent taking a startled step back.

Cessily can see Josh opening his mouth to start his ranting anew, and so she steps into the conversation; "Josh," she says, "You're a total mess. Come on, let's find somewhere for lunch. We can take our food to go," she adds when Josh begins to turn his glare on her.

Laura meets Cessily's eyes and gives a small nod, turning to claim the FBI agent's attention.

Cessily takes Josh's arm and tugs him toward the door. "C'mon," she mutters, "We'll get this figured out."

They sneak out a side door of the station to avoid the paparazzi and out on the street, Josh pulls cross his arms around his chest like he's trying to keep himself warm, or maybe keep himself together.

"How are you feeling?" Cessily says, because years of experience has told her that asking  _are you okay_  is a bad idea.

Josh lets out a deep sigh. "Angry." he says. "Scared, maybe. I dunno. This is bullshit, you know? We only found the body in the hall."

"Maybe it's a good thing that Julian's in custody," Cessily says hesitantly. She continues quickly, "I mean there's got to be a reason this guy dropped the body in front of your place,"

"Oh," Josh says, "That makes me feel a lot better, actually. Thanks, Cess,"

"Oh look," Cessily says, ignoring his sarcasm, "We can eat over at that diner. You know it?"

Josh looks over disinterestedly, "Yeah," he says, "Our first kiss was somewhere around here. Under that lamppost, I think," he adds, pointing a little ways down the street.

They cross the road to the diner and Cessily is almost hesitant to ask, "So, how long have you been together?" It's not just the timing that almost stops her, or that she hadn't seen it coming and wants to know –of course not. She totally saw this coming.

"Couple of days," Josh says. He opens the doors of the diner and holds it for Cessily, trailing into the warm room of the diner after her.

Inside, it smells like French fries and pizza; Cessily breathes in deeply and allows Josh to lead them to a table. When he stops halfway across the floor, she nearly runs into his back and ends up having to rearrange some molecules in order to slide by him without bumping into him or a table.

"Dude!" she complains when she's all structurally sound again.

Josh startles and looks over to her, "Let's eat somewhere else," he says hurriedly, turning back for the door. "C'mon,"

Cessily scans the room but sees nothing unusual, so she just follows Josh out, feeling confused. Outside, she grabs his arm and pulls him aside. "What was that?" she hisses.

Josh just shakes his head. "I… I someone I used to know, alright? Didn't want to have to talk to them, that's all."

 _Sure._ Cessily stares at him for a moment and then shrugs. "Well… alright, let's go somewhere else." She's not letting this go, even if she lets Josh lead them somewhere else to eat.

Her phone buzzes when they arrive at a small café a block or two away, and Cessily checks her messages dutifully. "Emma Frost just arrived at O'Hare," she announces with a frown, "She's brought Evangeline."

* * *

It turns out Emma has actually brought Evangeline Whedon, Dani Moonstar, and Logan, whom she apparently picked up from space.

They're all standing in the police station looking extremely imposing when Josh and Cessily return, and it's clear that Evangeline is tearing the FBI agents a new one.

"Josh," Dani says, hurrying over to hug him.

"What're you doing here?" Josh says, looking surprised. He looks past Dani to Emma and then to Logan.

"Ms. Whedon is here for legal counsel, in case something goes wrong, and possible to sue this police precinct and the FBI for misconduct," Emma sounds thrilled at the idea, though to the untrained ear, she comes across as bored. "By law, Keller has to be released within forty hours if these agents are unable to find charges to press."

Josh resumes glaring at all the officers in the station. "And they don't have anything, do they?" he says loudly.

"No, Joshua, they do not," Emma says. She nods at Cessily just then. "Hello, dear,"

"Why don't they just let Julian go?" Josh says, throwing an icy look around the room.

"There's pressure from the press for them to find something. If they let Julian go without criminal charges, these officers will be ridiculed," Emma explains. "As they should be, of course, but I suppose we're simply delaying the inevitable."

"Now, ma'am, we're just doing our jobs here…" one particularly brave officer says.

"Are you?" she responds sharply.

Logan, meanwhile, had disappeared. His whereabouts are clarified, however, when he reappears in the office with Julian and several protesting FBI agents and police officers in tow. Julian's hair is sticking up in all directions and he looks weary in his faded red hoodie. Logan is in the middle of ordering the officers around.

"…an' yer gonna take off this damn collar an' goddammit –someone go get the boy's  _hands_ ," he growls.

Josh pushes past everyone to go to Julian's side and though it's almost painful to see the way Julian  _starts_  to reach out but stops, but Josh doesn't notice. He cups Julian's face and kisses him, fiercely.

Cessily looks at her feet until she hears Josh demand, "Can we leave now?"

"Free to go," Logan confirms. "Go home."

"What's going to happen?" Megan pipes up.

"Well," Evangeline Whedon says, having come over to rejoin the group. "These FBI agents might request X-Corp assistance to find the real 'Angel Maker' and to save face, but Mr. Keller has not been criminally charged –he's, as Logan said, free to go. You girls can go home as well, or stay while Emma and I make a statement to the press."

"We will stay for a little longer," Laura says. She meets Cessily's eyes but still hasn't managed to perfect her communication methods via eyeballing, so Cessily just stares back, unable to receive whatever message is being silently sent her way.

"The press is outside," Megan says to Julian and Josh, "But I can take us a block or so away. Your apartment area is still taped off as a crime scene so you could –I dunno, stay in a hotel. I can take you back home first to get things if you want."

"Thanks, Megan," Julian says tiredly. "But we don't need anything." He glances at Josh, who nods.

At that moment, one of the police officers steps forward to unlock the collar around Julian's neck. He holds out Julian's gauntlets, looking uncertain until they fly out of his hands and to Julian's sides.

The collar abruptly shatters in the officer's hands at the same time.

"Well, those sure are fragile," Julian says flatly, looking the startled policeman in the eye. "See you around, huh, Olsen? Well, hopefully not."

Megan steps forward before any more can be said and holds her hands out. Cessily, Josh, and Julian join hands and Megan says her spell.

The room around them disappears in a flash of magenta.

* * *

Cessily gets Josh and Julian checked into a hotel with billing information to be sent to the X-Corp traveling expenses account. She pulls Julian aside for a moment before he follows Josh to their room.

"Hey," she says, "How're you doing?"

"Fine," Julian said. "Frustrated. Mostly pissed, but fine."

Cessily nods. "We'll catch this guy. The X-Men are involved in the investigation now. We're going to hunt the real killer down."

Julian is hesitant when he says, "You didn't… think it  _could_  be me, did you?"

"Never," Cessily says, and it's true; the thought never crossed her mind. "You're a good guy –mostly," she continues, "And one might even say you've matured. You're a responsible adult, Julian, and you'd never be able to be a psycho killer when we were teenagers, either."

Julian makes a face at  _responsible adult_ , but his shoulders lose some of their tension and he appears comforted by her answer. "Thanks for coming, Cess," he says quietly. "Sorry I don't call more."

Cessily shrugs, "I should be able to trust you to take care of yourself more… Come on. Let's go find your room."

They step into the elevator, but the doors are stopped from closing at the last moment by a wealthy young man. He looks surprised to see Cessily –or rather, surprised to see Julian. "Oh," the man says, "Hello –Julian, was it?"

"Yeah. Uh, hey. Josh." Julian says.

Josh smiles at Cessily, who's then obliged to introduce herself. "Cessily," she says, "I'm a friend of Julian's."

Josh's smile goes strangely tight around the corners so Cessily says, to try to ease the tension, "How is it that you know each other?" she looks to Julian for the answer.

"Josh is a new regular at a café I work at," Julian explains.

The elevator dings.

"That's us." Julian says unnecessarily, giving Josh a small wave as he and Cessily step out of the elevator and onto the fifth floor of the hotel.

"He was kind of… weird," Cessily says when the elevator doors have closed and they're heading down the dimly lit, carpeted hallway. "Friend of yours?"

"Not really," Julian says, "Good tipper, though."

"Is he famous or something? He looked kind of familiar," Cessily says, frowning.

Julian frowns also. "No," he says, "Well –no. I don't think so."

They make it to the room, where Josh is already lounging on the queen size bed, flipping through the channels on the TV.

"Hey," he says, "What took you?"

"Got distracted," Cessily says smoothly, "Had to take the next elevator. Where'd Megan go?"

Josh shrugs. "She said she would be back later to pick you up. I guess that means you get to hang with us for a while," he smiles, but Cessily notices it looks a little strained, like his cheerfulness is forced.

"Cool," Cessily says, going over to the bed, "Scoot over, dude. Hey, you want room service?"

* * *

A "while", it turns out, is longer than expected. Cessily ends up hanging around the hotel room for well over two hours, watching television with Josh, which mostly means shouting at the screen and throwing pillows across the room (they're returned to the bed, of course, by Julian, whose mutant abilities have been exploited for these purposes throughout their high school years).

Eventually, Julian begins pacing the room, restless and glancing at the clock on the wall and out the window to the streets below.

"Julian," Josh says after some minutes of this, "Could you fucking  _sit_?"

"Shouldn't we be out there?" Julian wonders, "Finding the Angel Maker? Fuck –I've got work soon, too. I'm going outside," he adds decisively, grabbing his jacket off an armchair and heading toward the door.

"If you smoke," Josh calls after him, "I swear to God, I'll give you crabs for a week,"

"Okay, Mom," Julian mutters.

"Oedipus!" Josh shouts.

Somehow, the door slamming close manages to sound amused.

Cessily doesn't comment for a few minutes, choosing instead to watch the episode of Project Runway with Josh in comfortable silence. Finally, she turns to him and says, "I didn't ask earlier, but are you… alright?"

Josh sighs like he's been expecting this. "It's been getting better." he says.

"You're really into Julian, right?" she says, raising her eyebrows. Her underlying puzzlement b the match is heard by Josh, but it just makes him smile a small, fond smile.

"Yeah. I dunno, Cess," he says, "It just feels right, you know? We've known each other for years, but it feels right  _now_."

"Ooh," Cessily croons, "You  _love_  him, don't you? Well else would you follow him across the country?" She grins when Josh's skin seems to flush a particularly bright gold. It wouldn't be too wrong to say that he's  _glowing_.

"Shut up," Josh mumbles when Cessily begins 'ooh'ing anew.

"So," she says, generously changing the subject, "have you thought about coming back? Or just, like, moving closer? We miss you guys, you know It's weird enough that everyone's gone in their own directions. At least David checks in every couple of days, even if it  _is_  for Y.A business."

Josh groans, "I get it, stop quilt-tripping me, okay? And we've thought about it."

Cessily's laughter is cut short by a sharp rapping on the door. "Did Julian not take a room key?" she wonders.

Josh tilts his head to the side. "That's not… Julian." He slides off the bed and pads over to the door, but when he opens it, he's pushed back into the room –at gunpoint.

"Josh?" Cessily says, alarmed.

"You-!" Josh sputters, "What are  _you_ -? Oh my God."

The Other Josh smiles, almost shyly. "Hi," he says, "Remember me?"

Josh just stares at him, but his confusion slowly melts into something more comprehending –and something more horrified.

Cessily takes the moment to slide off the bed and fall to the ground, body shifting and stretching out at she spreads quickly across the ground—

There's a muffled gunshot sound –or maybe the sound of a taser going off –and Cessily feels something hot shock through her body. She can't move, then; she's paralyzed, there on the ground, useless to Josh.

"Don't move," Cessily hears the Other Josh say.

"Darren, what the  _hell_  did you do to her?" Josh – _the_  Josh –demands.

Other Josh –Darren? –ignores the question, instead, saying in a pleased tone. "I knew you would remember me. I wanted to see you again, Josh." Above Cessily, Darren is still smiling.

"So you  _stalked_  me?" Josh says, "Christ, you –you… you're the one who's been killing those people. You were trying to make them look like  _me_ ,"

"You liked it, didn't you? I knew you'd understand," Darren says, satisfied. "I –I did all of this –just for you."

Josh is backing away, out of Cessily's limited sight, but Darren is advancing.

"What do you want with me?" Josh says, "What the hell could you possibly want from  _me_ , Darren? You don't even fucking know me!"

"We had a connection –you felt it didn't you, Josh?"

"Fuck," Josh says, and the two of them are out of Cessily's line of sight. "No –Christ, that's my  _job_ , I'm  _supposed_  to make it feel personal –I –listen to me," –his voice abruptly softens and becomes soothing –"put the gun down. There's no need for that, okay?

"I did this for you," Darren insists, "So you'd notice, and you  _did_ ,"

"Darren," Josh says, something of a warning creeping into his tone. He almost sounds like he's speaking to a child. "I need you to understand this, okay? I was a  _hooker_ , Darren,"

"You don't have to be anymore," Darren says eagerly, "I have money, I"

"It was my  _job_ "

"-WE HAD SOMETHING," Darren roars, "Tell me you feel it –I know you can –when we –when we—"

"It. Was. My.  _Profession_ ," Josh hisses,

Cessily hears one of them moving, and she hears Darren breathing hard.

"Look, baby, please. Put the gun down, okay? You're not thinking straight," Josh says, "We can figure this out, alright? Just give me the"

"-Don't tell me what to do," Darren snaps, "And don't  _move_ ,"

There's a brief silence. Cessily feels the pain trapping her in liquid form begin to numb and subside. She may be able to move soon—

"Don't do this, Darren," Josh says softly, "You just need hel"

"-SHUT UP!" Darren says, clearly angry, "I did this –all of this –for  _you_ , goddammit, you ungrateful"

-At the same moment Cessily manages to break out of paralysis and stand, the door flies open and Julian is standing there, and then he's move into the room and Darren changes the direction of his gun.

A shot rings out and there's a moment of confusion where no one seems to have been hit, and Julian's telekinetic shields are up.

In the corner of Cessily's vision, she sees Josh stagger forward and fall to his knees.

Darren drops his weapon, horrified, and rushed over to catch Josh.

And Julian just stand there, watching in incomprehension as Josh reaches out and to Darren, whom he'd  _known_  as Josh –and Elixir cups Darren's face in his hands. It's almost too quick to see it start, but Cessily glimpses an inky dark color creeping up Josh's golden forearms; by the time Josh's entire skin has gone metallic black mere milliseconds later, Darren's eyes have gone wide and bloodshot and his face is turning an ashy gray. He makes a motion to pull away, and his mouth falls open a little, like he's about to scream –but dark blood spills out instead, and black lesions appear rapidly across Darren's handsome face. He manages to pull away from Josh and falls on this back without making it away too far. Boils cover his skin and he's convulsing –shaking violently on the ground. He dies within half a minute.

Josh makes a feeble movement to get farther away from Darren's body. He leaves a smear of blood on the carpet where blood is flowing down the curve of his body and pooling on the ground beneath him.

"Josh," Julian's whisper seems impossibly loud in the room, and Cessily watches helplessly as Julian kneels beside Josh, terror written clearly on his features.

Josh makes a movement toward Julian –a mere tilt of his head, a twitch of his hand to the side –and he's breathing hard, eyes wide with the betrayed bewilderment of someone who is dying ahead of their time. He opens his mouth; "I -I can't" -his breath hitches, chest mid-rise. His eyes lose their light and go dull as his heart goes still.

Cessily can't move, even though she's no longer paralyzed.

Julian remains kneeling beside Josh, pants becoming stained with blood that is no doubt warm, and the silence is anticipatory, as if the room is waiting to be filled with a low wail of mourning –or perhaps anguished screams.

But there is nothing and the room is a silent chamber, a prison for both the living and the dead.

* * *

_They are quiet as Megan and Cessily check them into the hotel._

_Julian feels Josh clasp his hand and they intertwine their fingers._

_Josh raises their hands to his mouth and kisses Julian's hand. "Let's fucking go home," Josh says, sounding unbelievably tired._

_Julian nods, still feeling a little bit dazed. He lets go of Josh's hand and pulls him close, wrapping his arms around Josh's waist and in turn, Josh buries his face into the crook of Julian's neck, mumbling words Julian can't quite make out._

_Julian runs a hand through Josh's hair, stroking down to the back of his neck. "You okay?"_

_Josh makes a sound that sounds suspiciously like a no. He lifts his head. "God," he says, "Let go back to California or New York or something." he pulls away completely but then takes Julian's hand again. "Fuck," he says, laughing suddenly. "I really like you, Julian. I do. And I was so fucking worried…"_

_Julian feels a smile spread across his face. "Hey," he says, "I like you, too," He presses a small kiss to Josh's lips. "A lot," he adds in a conspiratorial whisper that makes Josh light up with a grin. Julian sees it and thinks, in one of his increasingly frequent moments of sentimentality, that he could get used to seeing this smile for a long time to come._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOOOOOOM.  
> U mad?  
> In a somewhat X-Men First Class parallel, to explain myself: Julian's shields caused the bullet fired by Darren's weapon to ricochet and hit Josh somewhere in the chest/abdominal region instead. Darren dies via Josh's death touch; Cessily looks on as our angsty narrator.  
> Questions? Comments? Outrage? Wanna scream about how that was totally out of NOWHERE? Leave it all below.


End file.
